They were perfect for me. I didn’t want to let myself think about it, but I couldn’t change the fact that when Madi and Dallas were with me, it was so easy to love them. It was so easy to stand before them andhope.
All of my thoughts created a cycle. Like a broken washer that never stopped spinning, they kept going until work was over and I was walking through my front door—the scent of food and chatter from Evie and Avery a welcomestopto the spiral.
“There she is,” Avery said as I put my stuff down. She looked amused, although I wasn’t sure by what exactly. “You have a hickey on the back of your neck.”
“Oh god.” That was definitely it. I slapped my hand over a spot Dallas bit a couple nights ago, blushing from head to toe.
Evie poked her head around the corner from the kitchen. “I made spaghetti and brought French bread.”
“An angel,” I sighed as I kicked off my shoes. I threw myself down on my couch, not even sure where I was going to begin filling my two best friends in. Texts simply didn’t do it all justice.
Avery rubbed my back with a chuckle as Evie brought our plates to the coffee table. I hung off the side of the cushion dramatically and met her raised brows with a wrinkled nose.
“She’s in trouble,” Evie decided. “Shove some bread in her mouth.”
I laughed as Avery broke off a piece of bread and started to haphazardly make me eat. I inhaled a crumb, choked, then started laughing so hard the dam broke.
I started crying.
“Well, fuck,” Avery said.
Evie cursed too and sat down next to me as I got up and slumped back, covering my face.
“I’m such a fucking idiot,” I cried.
“What in the hell happened?” Evie was exasperated and concerned in one breath. “Do I need to hit someone with my rolling pin?”
“No,” I hiccuped. “No. I just don’t want her to go.”
“Oh.” Avery sighed in relief. “Okay. We can handle that.”
“We can,” Evie agreed. “And of course you don’t want her to go. You’re in love. With herandDallas.”
“I don’t know about that,” I lied.
Evie snorted, but didn’t say anything. Instead she picked up her plate of spaghetti and handed me mine. The three of us had perfected the art of eating pasta on this couch, and I wasn’t even worried about getting red sauce on the fabric.
Avery scrutinized me. “The way Dallas looks at the two of you is something else. He’s never looked at anyone that way.”
“Could just be because he’s getting laid,” I said lightly.
She made a face, but then shook her head. “It’s not that, and you know it.”
“Don’t tell me you’re doing the resistance thing,” Evie said.
I scowled, and when I didn’t immediately answer, she groaned.
“June. Pleasetell meyou’ve worked through this. I thought you were going to therapy for it.”
Damn. “I was going last year . . .”
“But then? You stopped?”
“Yeah,” I admitted.
I’d kissed Dallas and ghosted my therapist three times because talking about relationships suddenly felt too real. Which, yes, was the exact opposite of what I should have done. Talking through that reaction would have definitely been the healthier option, but it was hard to expose myself like that.
“You deserve love,” Avery insisted. “Love from one person, love from two.Welove you and you don’t protest.”
