“I’m not doing anything this morning. I’ll come with you,” Connor says, walking into the kitchen.
“You don’t have to. If you need anything in particular, you can just text me a list and I’ll grab it for you.”
“Nah, I’ll come and help you. Let me just get my keys.” Hedisappears into the hall and comes back with his keys and a confused look on his face. “I can’t find your jacket on the hook, do you keep it in your room?”
“I don’t have a jacket, I’ll just grab a hoodie.”
It’s a chilly day for July, so my T-shirt won’t be enough. Besides, I rarely show my arms in public, so I would have thrown on a hoodie anyway.
“Do you only own hoodies and leggings?” There’s no judgement in his tone, just a genuine curiosity.
“Pretty much. I do have one pair of jeans and a top for if I go out to the pub or something, and I have my school clothes too.”
Saying this out loud makes me wonder if Rhys had a point about making more of an effort for him. I just don’t feel comfortable in any other types of clothes. There’s a certain sense of safety I get when I wear loose hoodies, knowing that no one has any idea what shape I am underneath. No one can tell if I’m bloated or wobbling when I walk if I’m in a hoodie. But regular clothes show everything, and none of them really look right on me.
“Well, if you ever need a shopping buddy to help you choose some actual clothes, I’m up for it,” he says kindly.
“Thank you.” I smile.
“No worries. We could stop in the lingerie shop while we’re there—”
I slap Connor’s arm before he can finish his sentence, but I can’t help but laugh. “Let’s just start with food shopping and see how we go, shall we?”
We hop into Connor’s car and drive the twenty minutes to the supermarket. We would have gone to one closer to home, but I remind Connor that I’m supposed to be off work sick, and it would be typical for me to run into a parent in one too near to school. When we get there, Connor expertly parks in the shade of a tree, and we head inside, grabbing a trolley on our way. Aspromised, Connor pushes, leaving my hands free to fidget.
We shop together like we’ve done it a thousand times before. I grab half the salad shelf, while Connor peruses the exotic vegetables.
“What are you looking for?” I ask him as he fondles the avocados.
“I’m looking for the best ones.” He takes a sniff of the fruit before placing it back with the rest. Seeing my confused expression, he continues. “When you work in a professional kitchen, you get pretty good at discerning quality food from crap.”
“How eloquent,” I quip, earning a broad smile from my shopping partner.
It’s jarring to see him take something so seriously – especially something as trivial as the ripeness of an avocado. But it suits him. I wonder if Connor has any other sides that I’ve been missing out on all this time?
When Connor heads to the butcher’s counter, I pick up some packs of chicken breast. It’s all surprisingly easy until we find ourselves walking down the snack aisle and Connor asks which I’m getting for weekend treats.
“I don’t want anything,” I say, trying to sound casual.
“Oh, come on. You can’t live off lettuce all the time!”
“I won’t be living off lettuce, actually. I have cucumber and tomatoes in that trolley too.” I smile sweetly and walk towards the cosmetic aisle to get some shampoo.
When we meet at the tills ten minutes later, there’s a bag of my favourite hazelnut chocolates hiding among the broccoli.
Connor pays for the shopping, despite my protests, and we pack everything into his car. On the drive back home, I promise to pay him back for my half of the shopping.
“And you’ll need to let me know how much I owe you for rent and stuff.”
“Don’t worry about it.” He slows down as we approach a roundabout and glances towards me with a frown. “You know me and Ivy inherited the house, so there’s no mortgage to pay.”
“But there’s still electricity, water, council tax…”
“Which I’d be paying whether you were there or not.” He pulls onto the roundabout and turns towards his street. “Look, your money will probably be tied up in your own house for a while. Just leave it until you’re sorted, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal, and I’ll be paying you. If you don’t let me know how much I owe, I’ll be forced to send you everything I have, to make sure it’s enough.”
“Okay,” Connor sighs as he pulls into the drive.
