I decide to save my energy and stay quiet, letting him help me back into the restaurant. He leaves me sitting at an empty booth for five minutes while he talks to his boss and gets his keys, and then we’re on our way home.
The drive is quiet but not awkward. Every now and then, Connor looks my way as if he’s checking for something, but he doesn’t say anything, and I pretend I don’t notice. When we pull up to his house, he rushes around to the passenger door andhelps me out. I’m so exhausted that I let him help me inside and blindly follow him up the stairs. It’s only when we get to the top of the landing and turn right that I take in my surroundings. My old room was to the left of the stairs, so why are we going right?
“Where are we going?” I ask weakly.
“You’re staying in my room where I can keep an eye on you,” Connor says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“What?”
“No ulterior motive, Til,” Connor quickly explains. “But you have a head injury, and you seem really sad, and I haven’t seen you for weeks. I… I just want to keep you close for a while. Is that okay?”
I look up at his face and realise how vulnerable he looks. He looks at me with such genuine affection, I feel like I couldn’t deny him anything. I wouldn’t want to. In the short time we’ve been friends, Connor has become my safe place, more than Rhys ever has in our entire marriage.
“Yeah, that’s okay,” I say with a small smile. I tuck myself further under his arm and I feel his body relax.
Connor leads me to his room and opens the door. His bedroom is surprisingly tidy, with everything in its place bar a couple of T-shirts thrown across his bed. He quickly picks them up and throws them into his laundry hamper, then he grabs my hand and pulls me towards the bed.
He gestures to the bed. “Do you have a side preference?”
“Well, Rhys always wanted to sleep closest to the window…”
“That doesn’t answer my question. Doyouhave a side preference?”
“Erm, left?” I’m honestly not sure. I’ve never really considered what my preference would be, I just went along with what made Rhys happy.
“Okay, left it is.” Connor pulls back the covers on the left side. “Sit.”
I do as I’m told and take a seat on the edge of the bed. Before I have chance to do it myself, Connor kneels in front of me and carefully unlaces and removes my trainers. Silently, he lifts my legs by the ankles and manoeuvres me so I’m lying down. I let my head sink into the pillow, and I’m enveloped by Connor’s smell. I breathe it in and let Connor cover me with the duvet. He heads to the window and pulls the curtains closed.
Once the room is in darkness, Connor makes his way back to the bed and climbs in beside me. I don’t object when he presses his firm body against mine, or when he puts his arms around me. I let him push his face into my hair and don’t flinch when he kisses the top of my head. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
“Go to sleep, baby. We’ll sort everything out when you’re feeling better.”
“I’m already feeling better,” I admit sleepily.
There’s a pause, and I wonder if Connor heard me, but then he responds quietly. “I’m glad. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you stay that way. I’ve missed you so much, Tilly.”
“I’ve missed you too. You’re such a good friend, thank you for being there for me.”
There’s another pause as Connor squeezes me tight and rests his forehead against my hair. “Get some sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Chapter 26
You don’t get to talk about her
Connor
She’s back. And I’m a mess about it. This isn’t how I wanted her to come back – shattered, humiliated, hurting. The thought of Tilly hurting makes me sick. But I can’t lie: having her here, in my bed, in my arms… I’m selfishly relieved.
I hold her closer, scared she might slip away again, and notice how different she feels now. Smaller, frailer. Like the fight’s been drained out of her. When I glance down at her face, the bruise around her eye hits me like a punch of my own. It’s spreading like spilled ink across her skin, stark and ugly against her too-pale complexion. A reminder of how I let her down when I let her go.
The dark smudges under her eyes give away her need for rest, and that’s exactly what I intend to give her. Not only to recover from her injuries but also fromhim. She needs a chance to reclaim her mind. Her body. The very essence that makes her Tilly. My Tilly. Because that’s what she is, whether she realises ityet or not. She’s mine. And I’ve been hers for years.
As I lie counting the smattering of freckles brought out by the summer sun along Tilly’s nose, her phone buzzes on the bedside table. She flinches in her sleep at the sudden sound, and I can’t bear to see her disturbed, so I reach over her small body to turn it off. That’s when I see his name.
I shouldn’t look. I know I shouldn’t. It’s not my place to read messages meant for her. But my protective instincts overshadow rational thought when it comes to Tilly now, so I look anyway.
Rhys
