“But I’m not,” I say, cradling his jaw in my hand. “I’m not his. I’m yours.”
Before I can protest due to my fear of crushing him, Connor pulls me out of my chair and onto his lap. His fingers dive into my hair, and he pulls my face to his, our mouths meeting in a kiss that gives me tingleseverywhere.
Still, my concern for the health of his legs overrides the throbbing sensation between mine, and I try to stand. Connor’s arm locks tighter around me, pinning me down.
“Say it again and I’ll let you go,” he says between kisses.
“I’m yours.” I smile as he tilts my head so he can kiss my neck. “I’m yours for as long as you’ll put up with me.”
“I have no intention of ever letting you go, Tilly.”
We’ll see.
Though I fully believe that either Connor will come to his senses or I’ll do something to fuck this up, I make the decision to make the most of it and enjoy my time with Connor while I can. I turn my head and catch his lips with mine once more, running my hands over his chest as I deepen the kiss. He groans in response and moans when I pull away. This time, he lets me stand, and I reclaim my own seat.
We continue our meal with our hands laced together, so we eat one-handed. I can’t help but look at him between every bite and marvel at how lucky I am to be with him, even if it only ends up being for a short time. He’s kind, thoughtful, funny and smoulderingly hot. How did I not realise how perfect he is before this week?
“I have my last question,” I say, breaking the silence. “You used to be a dick to me.”
Connor winces. “That’s not technically a question.”
“I thought you hated me all these years.”
“Still not a question, baby.” He smirks at me, but his eyes don’t match it.
“Why did you treat me like that if you’ve liked me all this time?”
His eyes shut briefly and he runs a hand over his face.
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to backpedal. “I’m not upset about it or anything…”
“You’re right – I was a dick. And I’m so sorry if me being that way ever upset you.” Connor looks me in the eye, begging me to understand. “It was a coping mechanism. What started as a crush that I pushed aside because you were younger than me turned into full-blown love that consumed me so completely, I couldn’t get you off my mind. By the time I admitted to myself how I felt, you’d already met Rhys, and I thought you were happy. I didn’t want to mess that up for you. I wanted you to behappy, even if it wasn’t with me, so I forced myself to step back. It nearly killed me, Tilly.”
Wanting to ease the emotion in his voice, I take the opportunity of his pause to press a kiss to his lips. I had no idea he’d ever felt this way. I can’t help but wonder if things would have been different had he spoken out sooner.
“I couldn’t be myself around you when all I wanted to do was tear you away fromhim, to hold you, to call you mine. So I put on an act to distance myself. I thought if you hated me, it would make it easier for me to move on.”
“That’s why it was so easy for you to change when we called the truce? You were finally able to be yourself?”
“That’s it. And it felt so fucking good! But you’d just been through so much, so I didn’t make a move. I wanted to give you time to process everything before throwing something else at you. And then you went out that night and didn’t come back.”
Guilt spears through my body like lightning. I really am a stupid bitch.
“I thought I’d missed my chance again. But now, here we are.” Connor slowly smiles, his eyes lighting up as they meet mine once again. “I spent years pining for you. Ivy used to tease me all the time. But I would put up with the teasing and heartache, the jealousy and emptiness a hundred times over if it meant that I would finally get to be with you.”
Wow. What am I supposed to say to that?
“Ooh, no pressure!” I joke, using humour as a deflection.
Luckily, Connor laughs. “None at all,Muffin.”
My body goes stiff when he uses the nickname Rhys gave me. I’ve always hated it, but the more I pushed against it, the more Rhys used it, so I just let it happen. That was generally the best way with Rhys, but each time he used it was a punch to the heart.
“Please don’t call me that.” I turn my head so Connor can’tsee the tears lining my eyes, and pretend to be engrossed in my food.
“Sorry,” Connor says sincerely. “I just saw Rhys call you that when I read your messages the other day and I was curious. It’s such a silly nickname, I thought there might be a story behind it.”
“There is.” Still refusing to look at him, I decide to continue our pattern of total honesty and give him this as a freebie. “A few years ago, just after we got married, I was getting changed into a pair of jeans and… it seems I’d put on weight since the last time I’d worn them, so when I pulled them up, they…” I heave a sigh and continue. “Rhys pointed out my muffin top. He even came over to me and grabbed it to prove a point. He’s called me ‘Muffin’ ever since, to remind me to stay on track with my weight. It’s also, super-conveniently, a well-known nickname, so no one ever picked up on it being a hurtful jab every time it was used. They just thought it was adorable.”
