“So it must be true, just like everything you see on the internet!” I quipped.
“Excuse me, the movie is starting, and I can’t have you distracting me.” Eric handed me his phone to order food on a delivery app. “I need to pay attention. Allegedly, this movie should rival The Princess Bride. I’m trying to impress a girl, so if you don’t mind.”
“Ironic, since that’s the catalyst for the plot.”
“Spoilers!”
The movie started, and I let it whisk me away to a world of magic and ghosts and stars that are people. Part of me longed for the fantastical world, wishing I could live there as a bard, playing in a tavern and earning my bed and breakfast with the songs I’d play. I could sing to give people space to feel what they feel. Eric watched with rapt focus, only commenting causal things regarding the physics engine of the ships, to which I simply shrugged.
“Aren’t all people technically made of stardust?” Eric asked.
“Sure, but this is magical, where all stars are people.”
He gave me a stunning smile that had me blushing. “You’re like that star: rare and beautiful.”
“Stars can’t survive in a world without magic. They turn into Stardust.”
“Even as dust, you’re still a star, Constance.” He thought for a moment. “I’m gonna call you Stardust.”
“Please don’t,” I objected.
“You only get three objections, and you’ve already vetoed princess, sweetheart, and baby. Sorry, Stardust, you can’t change it.”
I groaned as I stood to throw away the food containers. I felt comfortable with him, but still a little nervous about the rest of the night.
“We should get some sleep,” he said, and I breathed out a not-so-subtle sigh of relief.
I crawled into bed with him. It was comfortable, resting my head on his chest, both of my legs wrapped around one of his. I sleep soundly, the steady beat of his heart like a metronome.
21 – Connie – Now
This week has been exhausting, and it has only been two days. Clearly, there is no privacy on this bus, because Eric and I haven’t gotten a single moment to ourselves. RVs converted into tour buses are apparentlynotmeant for secret situationships. I’m trying to keep myself from making out with Eric—hell, I’m still trying to not look at him too long. Lilli’s a shark; one drop of blood in the water, and she’ll go into a frenzy.
We’re keeping it quiet. We agreed. Sure, I came to this decision mostly on my own, but Eric agreed because I have some very good reasons.
First, I don’t want Lilli all up in our business. She has enough to worry about with performing and trying to get in some hours at a recording studio.
Second, I don’t know how this would affect his job. Thanks to our doorway conversation the other night, I know his mom and brother both depend on him.
Third, because I don’t know what I want out of this. Situationships are hard enough as it is, let alone one with all our history. I don’t want to make the same mistake. To be honest, there’s no way of knowing how this could end any differently. We’re the same people, after all. No one really changes thatmuch. Although, when I think back to five years ago, I feel like a different person. Do I want a relationship or just a fling? Can Eric ever be just a fling?
These endless spirals of questioning are exactly why I don’t want Lilli to know. I don’t have the answers, so I’m just going to ride this out, one day at a time. Stolen moments might be all I can ever have with Eric; I’m not going to waste them.
When we stop to get gas, I have the brilliant plan to try and get some time with Eric inside, just to say hi and maybe hold his hand. We park, and I announce that I want to stretch my legs. Eric rises, picking up what I’m putting down—until Lilli agrees and comes with me, and I can’t call her out on it without it seeming weird.
Ash comes with us, leaving Eric to pump the gas. I try to figure out a way to stay behind, but since going was my idea, I go. I covertly buy some Red Vines for him; I remember they’re his favorite candy. While Lilli and Ash are looking at the different chip options, I check out and walk briskly back to the bus. The gas pump is on the driver’s side, and the door to the bus, which is facing the storefront, is on the passenger side. Because of course it is. Nothing can be simple, can it?
I get in and go to my usual seat by the table as I open the window.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey there, Stardust.”
“I got you some contraband,” I say as I hand him the Red Vines.
“A woman after my heart.” He’s so casual, leaning up against the bus with his goofy smile, his kind eyes. No wonder this guy got me all fucked up.
“I miss you,” I say before I think better of it. I’m leaning on the frame of the window now, my blonde hair flowing slightlyin the light breeze. I tuck a section of it behind my ear to keep it from flying in my face.
