“I’m gonna go bum a cig off one of them,” Ash says. “I’m supposed to be cutting down on my nicotine,” he says lifting his vape, “but man, I resisted the last two smoke breaks.”
“Or you could not,” Lilli chips in.
I give Eric a look; I need a minute alone with Lilli and I would prefer not to have an audience. Eric looks down at thesound board and pushes a button. “Her mic is off now,” he says as he opens the door to the recording room where Lilli is.
Before I can speak, Lilli pulls me in for a hug. “I don’t know what you need to talk about, but I promise to listen. I just wanted to let you know I love you, and I know things have been weird ever since I got the contract. I don’t want things to be weird. You’re my best friend, no matter what.”
I hug her back. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been distant. I was upset, Iamupset, but only because I’m jealous. My jealousy has nothing to do with you; it’s a me issue that I’m going to work on. It shouldn’t affect our friendship. You mean too much to me.”
“Aww, Connie.”
“And,” I continue, stepping back and wringing my hands, “I think you’re right.”
“I agree, but what am I right about again?”
A nervous smile invades my face. “About my career.”
Lilli plops down on a stool by her microphone. “Ah, yes, of course.” She rolls her eyes. “Be just a tad more specific, please.”
I inhale through my nose and relax my shoulders as I exhale. I can tell Lilli really doesn’t see where I’m going with this. “I need to be more active in my career’s growth. I need to take the reins.” Lilli sits up straighter—I’ve caught her attention. She’s watching me with bated breath. “So if it’s possible, could I still…”
“Yes, oh my God, yes, yes, yes!” Lilli cuts me off and is out of her chair hugging me again.
“I don’t want to intrude on your set.”
“Oh nonsense,” Lilli says. “It’s my set, and it’s not like you’re going to start slandering Jennifer Lux or something.”
“Do you need to check with Tops or anything?”
“Nah, I’ve had the sound techs set up a mic for you every show just in case. It’ll all be fine.”
“And you’re sure?” I ask again, some scared part of me hoping for a locked door on my path forward, something beyond my control keeping me from moving ahead.
“I’vebeensure, Connie. Are you sure?”
Truthfully, I don’t know, but that seems like the wrong thing to say. I was sure,sosure, when it was just a concept, back when this conversation was still an outline in my head, the prospect of singing on stage again nothing more than a passing idea that visited me on its way to find a performer ready to go for a ride.
I nod and swallow the lump in my throat. “No time like the moment I’m walking into,” I say, quoting a Jennifer Lux song.
“And no change like the coins I spent on you!” Lilli finishes the lyric.
29 - Eric - Now
As it turns out, Lilli had an outfit packed and ready; I guess she always knew Connie would come around. The skirt is covered in silver sequins, each one like a shimmering coin. She adds a while bralette with a sheer, long sleeve top, and I mean sheer as in it’s practically not there except to cover her in the orderly rhinestones that span the entire garment. She pairs it with lilac ankle boots with a pointed toe, completely studded with rhinestones.
Lilli’s makeup and hair team take turns in a flurry of hairspray, setting spray, pinning hair back and drawing eyeliner on. It’s mesmerizing, almost hypnotic.
At sound check, I force myself to my usual position in between the stage and the crowd, not wanting to leave her side. I’m already bursting with pride, and I want her to know I’ve got her back.
Usually, I would stand in position, wishing I could have this time backstage with Connie, but even more so tonight. I have to keep an eye on the crowd, but I wish I could dedicate my focus to watching her.
I can watch her now, though, as she sings through a verse and the chorus of a song so the audio guys can get her mic levels. She’s such a pro, no one would know it’s been years since she sang for a crowd.
Part of me registers that she’s jumping into the deep end. She’s going from not performing to a sold-out stadium, but I have no doubt she’ll capture their hearts the way her music has already has while Lilli was singing it. I’m still nervous for her though. Excited, too, but there’s nerves there. I’m sure she has nerves too. I wish I could talk to her about it, wish there was something I could do.
Ash stands next to me in his usual position, his arms crossed, stance wide. “She’s finally doing the damn thing.” I nod as Ash takes a hit from his vape. “You guys planning on going official any time soon or what?”
I do a double take. “What?”
