“Remain in London and do what? Come here every day?” She propped herself up on her elbows. “You’ve done enough, neglecting your preparations for the trip. I’ll heal, Mr. Wentworth, whether you are here or not. Please go. Fulfil your dream. For both of us.”
He was impressed both by her passion and the fact she managed to say all that without coughing. Still, the idea of leaving didn’t bring any spark of joy to him, just a sense of hollowness.
“Would you at least agree to receive an allowance? I’m more than happy to share my allowance with you. Forever. Even after you marry.” Oddly enough, the last thought caused a fresh pang to his chest. He must have said something wrong again because she stiffened.
“Your brother was kind enough to promise to help me get a recommendation for the academy and receive a fellowship since my parents don’t want to support me, or at least my mother doesn’t.” She waved a hand as if to dismiss the subject. “My hope is to be able to support myself. I am that stubborn. I’m not proud of it, but not ashamed either. So, thank you, but I can’t accept.”
He swallowed his humiliation and bowed again. Apparently, his kindness, money, and company weren’t required. Or maybe he really suffocated her with his attention, and she wished to see him gone.
“As usual, I wish you a quick recovery.” He put his hat on and left the room, trying to look as dignified as possible.
five
AWEEK PASSED since Maddie had received her first marriage proposal, and she couldn’t stop thinking about Hector despite the fact he hadn’t shown himself since.
He was used to visiting her every day, even if only for a few moments. But after their last conversation, he’d kept his distance, which, she had to admit, had been partially her goal when she’d prompted him to join the expedition. Or maybe not. She wasn’t sure.
She liked him, she really did. When he talked about plants and flowers, his whole face brightened, and he knew the most unusual and curious things about nature. But yes, at times during his visits, she’d wished to be left alone. Her mood had shifted from high to low during her worst days, and even though she loved her family and Hector was kind to her, she’d wanted to be left alone to cry in her bed and pity herself. Sometimes that was what she needed before flourishing again. But she refused to let him ruin his life because of his guilt. Ridiculous. If she’d agreed to marry him, years from now, he would resent her, and she’d hate it.
She sighed, glancing out of the parlour window overlooking the busy street. The trees in Hyde Park had put on new leaves that fluttered like tiny waving hands in the wind. Ladies promenaded with their friends, showing off bright coloured frocks, lace-rimmed parasols, and silk reticules. Summer filled the air with the scent of freshly mowed grass and flowers. London was so pretty in summer, so full of people. There would be art exhibitions and presentations in every gallery and theatre. She wished she could go with Verity to take a walk through the park, eat a gelato, and watch the swans in the Serpentine. Maybe sketch one of those lovely poplar trees.
She coughed in her closed fist, her throat still burning. The incident and its aftermath had ruined her life—no, that was ungrateful of her. She still could become a painter. Her dream was merely postponed. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t wish Hector had never broken through her window that night.
She didn’t regret having rejected him. His offer had come from the wrong place, nothing more. He wasn’t really interested in marrying her. It was his sense of duty, or worse, guilt to have pushed him to propose. Thank goodness her mother wasn’t aware of the proposal. Maddie would never hear the end of it.
She grimaced as a new shot of pain travelled up her arm after yet another bromine application. The liquid stank of sulphur and burned her skin like acid, leaving her shaken and in pain. After each application, her fingers remained numb for a while and her stomach roiled with nausea. She didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. Dr. Wilton had said the nausea was normal.
There was a quick knock on the door before it opened, and the maid entered. The servants never waited for Maddie to reply, knowing their missus couldn’t raise her voice.
The maid dropped a curtsy. “Lady Wentworth, the Dowager Duchess of Blackburn, is here.”
Lady Wentworth? Her almost mother-in-law. “Please let her in.” Maddie struggled to sit up, wondering if her hair looked like something that had been dragged out of the Thames. She hadn’t used a hot rod or ribbons in weeks.
“Miss Madeline, may I?” a sweet voice asked from the door.
Maddie coughed. “Please.”
Lady Wentworth sauntered inside in a swirl of black linen and pristine lace. She had nothing in common with her sons. Where they were all golden hair and fair eyes, she was dark-haired and with gentle brown eyes. Her beauty resembled Hector’s though. Same straight nose, fine features, and natural elegance.
Maddie tried to stand up, but it was too much effort, and the bromine caused her head to spin. “Lady Wentworth.” She bowed her head.
“Please don’t stand up, my dear.” Lady Wentworth took her good hand. “I apologise for not having come earlier.”
“Do not worry, madam. Your sons have been very kind to me.”
The lady sat on the chair next to her. Her black skirt frothed around her. “How are you? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I’m recovering, slowly, but I’m on the mend. Your sons took very good care of me.” By paying all the medical bills and even her meals.
The lady’s bottom lip quivered. “I’m sorry for what happened. My son Hector has always been wilder than Robert. I know he might behave like a scoundrel.”
Maddie smiled because Hector might be passionate when he talked about plants and ignore some rules of society, but he couldn’t possibly be a scoundrel.
“I’ve never thought him to be one.”
The lady clenched her gloved hands in her lap. “He’s so immersed and focused on his love for science that oftentimes he isn’t connected with real life.”
To that, Maddie had to agree. But then again, she was the same.
