“But what I did made me who I am now.” He squeezed her hand gently. “I don’t know how to build my life in England again or how to make amends to you. And my family is dead. What am I going to do? I am the cause of so much pain. Including my own.” He sounded so scared she couldn’t keep her distance.
She ran her fingers through his hair. “It’ll take time, but you’ll be happy again.”
He leant against her touch. “I swear on my honour I’ll do everything I can to repay the damage I inflicted upon you since Robert couldn’t help you because of me.”
This time, she didn’t protest. If making amends was the reason he needed to build his life again, then she’d let it do it. Besides, he didn’t have anything else to grasp at the moment. Helping her was the only thread of his former life left.
He released her hand slowly and drew in a deep breath. “I’d like to take a walk. Do you think the deck is crowded?”
“The passengers should be in the dining hall now. Are you sure you’re ready?”
“If I can’t face the people on a ship, how can I face London? How can I help you?” He paled. “Would you come with me?”
“Yes.” She brushed his knuckles. “We’ll face the crowd together.”
twelve
WHEN MADDIE HAD said she was ready to face the crowd with Hector, she’d meant it. But she wondered if he was ready. He’d stepped outside the cabin only to stand in the passageway.
She took his jacket from the chair and joined him. “You should probably wear this. You know, propriety and all that.”
She handed him the jacket, worried he might refuse. But he slid it on without a word. Still, he didn’t move.
“There’s nothing to fear.” She hooked her arm through his. “I’ll take you to the main deck. If it’s too crowded, we’ll return here.”
“I’m ready, and I’ve had enough of my cabin. I need some fresh air.”
He was barefoot, but she hadn’t seen any pair of shoes in his cabin. Oh, well. At least he wasn’t half-naked.
A man threw a sideways glance at Hector as they walked down the passageway. Another muttered something as they brushed past him. A couple of ladies gasped. Perhaps Hector’s hair, bare feet, and general sense of wildness were too much for those people who weren’t used to seeing him every day. Thank goodness he didn’t make a scene. His muscles tensed, and he slowed his pace, but he didn’t panic or reply to the whispers.
He gripped her arm a tad too tightly though. His gaze followed every person they met along the passageway. He even stopped and craned his neck to stare at an attendant who hurried his pace once he realised Hector was focused on him.
“Hector.” She nudged him so he’d stop staring. “What are you doing?”
He blinked. “I’m curious. The uniform of that man is so sparkling white.”
“Yes, but please don’t stare at people. It looks like you want to murder someone.”
“But they stare at me.” He arched an eyebrow.
“That’s true.” She led him on. “But I think the best strategy is to ignore them.”
He nodded solemnly, as if she’d revealed to him the meaning of the universe.
“None of them are as brave as you are. I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes on the island. I can’t even swim.” She let out a nervous chuckle.
“You should learn. You never know.”
“Fair point well made.”
The salty, humid breeze blowing from the sea thickened the air when they stepped onto the deck. The stars cast their silver light over the ship, more brightly than in London where the smoke and street lamps hid the sky. She hadn’t realised it was so late, perhaps well past dinner. Goosebumps pebbled her skin as the chilly wind picked up speed. He released a long breath, and his posture slouched.
He tilted his head back and stared at the stars. “I lived there.”
“Where?” She searched the dark horizon.
“Among the stars.”
