He eased the pressure of his fingers. “Sorry. There’s a swelling here. The skin appears redder. I believe it’s from the brunt of the impact. You’ll grow a deep bruise.”
“I can feel the skin tender there.”
His frown deepened when he touched the stitches. “The skin is a little warm here. There might be the beginning of an infection.” He finally raised his gaze to her. “I apologise.”
A shiver slithered down her spine as he touched her breast. Her left one was tender and more swollen than the other, but if she was going to be honest with herself, it wasn’t pain or revulsion stirring in her belly at his examination.
“Does it hurt?” he asked.
“A little.”
His kind touch soothed her nerves and reduced the pain. He checked the second wound.
“The swelling is normal especially when the bullet hits such a soft, delicate area.” He rummaged through the bottles and pots of potions and herbs. “As a precaution, I’ll apply a mixture of herbs to the wound to prevent an infection and reduce the swelling.” He crushed dried herbs in a mortar, adding drops of scented oil to the mixture. “Let me feel your neck glands.”
Saying, “Yes,” and regretting it happened at the same time.
The cold sensation of feeling his strong fingers around her neck overcame the fresh shot of pain shuddering through her atthe examination. She couldn’t help it. She recoiled and scurried away from him when he closed a hand around her throat.
His expression tightened further as if she’d slapped him. “What did he do to you?”
Oh, he knew. He understood. Her nakedness triggered a flame of shame throughout her. He saw through her, too close to her soul for her liking. She pulled the blanket up to cover herself and bent her knees. It was her turn to avoid making eye contact. She put a hand on her neck. Her own touch caused a tightness in her chest.
Ethan didn’t prompt her. He sat still and waited. Even his breathing sounded slow and controlled.
“Would you like me to leave?” he said. “I may return later to bandage the wound.”
“No, don’t leave.” She kept her knees bent even though the position was uncomfortable and strained her muscles.
He stroked her hand, drawing soothing circles with his thumb over her knuckles. He’d done the same when they’d been trapped under the altar. Maybe she’d never left that oppressive nook. Maybe she was still buried underneath the rubble. And he was next to her as he’d been then. It pained her that it’d taken a bullet into her flesh to realise that. Yes, she’d planned to leave Jacob and had set aside the money to move to France, but she carried her own cage with her.
“It’s hard,” Ethan said in his deep, calm baritone. “But you’re a strong, amazing woman. You can overcome whatever he did to you.”
His kindness broke the walls around her heart, and her loneliness poured through the cracks. She couldn’t share everything with David although he knew better than anyone what living with Jacob meant. She wanted to be strong for him not to show how miserable she was. She hadn’t realised how desperately she needed to talk with someone and unburdenherself until Ethan paid her the most beautiful compliment she’d ever received. Did she feel strong and amazing? Not at all. But he thought she was, and for now she could borrow his strength.
“He likes to choke me,” she whispered, ashamed of… she wasn’t sure what.
Ethan let out a deep noise from his throat like a low growl. “Did he beat you as well?” His words were all but a snarl.
“No, not really.” She laced her fingers through his, needing the contact. “When I met him for the first time, he swept me off my feet. He courted me with determination, brought me flowers and presents every day, and was simply charming. He would send me many messages throughout the day and become angry if I didn’t reply quickly.” She chuckled bitterly. “I thought his anger was a sign he cared about me. I found his interest endearing. We always laughed when we were together. He listened to everything I said, let me talk for hours, and understood me so well. I was so in love. Even my parents were utterly charmed by him, especially because he gave me many expensive presents and made grand gestures to show me his love. Once, he hired an entire orchestra to play a serenade under my window. When I think about how I enjoyed those moments, I feel like a fool.”
“You shouldn’t.” He put his other hand over hers. “He deceived you. His strategy was to overwhelm you with false kindness.”
“I haven’t understood why yet.” She rested her cheek on his big hand, and her pulse quickened as he stroked it.
“I’ve met men like him. They see people as objects to collect, and all they want is to be adored and worshipped. He loves only himself.”
Pity it’d taken her too long to realise that. “When he proposed, I said yes immediately. The fact my dowry was meagre didn’t seem to bother him.” She paused, remembering the flutterin her belly at Jacob’s utter devotion. The way he made her feel special, beautiful, and unique. “After we got married and my parents died, everything changed, not immediately though. The first year was wonderful although he grew increasingly demanding and possessive, but after I became pregnant, he told me he found me unattractive and lost interest in me. I think he found a mistress. He barely paid any attention to me.”
“He didn’t beat you?” he asked again, caressing her jaw.
“Not really. He became cold and detached, cruel and dismissive. He didn’t raise his hand at me, but he raised his voice. His mood always changed. I went mad trying to understand how to behave, not to trigger his temper, and became dependent on those rare, sweet moments when everything seemed perfect. Those moments hurt more than his bouts of bad temper because they were proof he could be kind.”
“Hell, Cora.” He pressed his forehead to hers. The tips of their noses touched in a suddenly intimate gesture. “I want to kill him.” His tone didn’t leave room for doubt. He meant every word.
At this point, she couldn’t stop talking until she told him everything. “His cruel words and indifference hurt me deeply. He made me feel worthless, called me names, and despised me. When David was born, Jacob’s interest in me diminished further. He hated that I spent time with David. He ignored him. He said he wished David had never been born.” Her voice broke with the hurt those words still inflicted on her. “David and I didn’t exist for him. He didn’t usually spend time with his son, but when he did, he mocked David and told him how stupid he was.” She put a hand over her throat. “He never visited my bed again, saying I repulsed him. But he enjoys touching me roughly. Yes, there have been slaps. But sometimes he would…” Goodness. She changed her mind. She couldn’t go on.
“If it’s too difficult to talk, you don’t have to.” He kissed her hand. “Although I know from experience that talking can heal.” He waited patiently for her to talk again, rubbing her hand.
