“You must have had many experiences.” A hint of sadness slipped into his voice.
“None of them are worth remembering, and in fact, I don’t remember many of them.”
He chuckled. “Still, I guess you have better memories than being prodded by doctors and pricked with needles while sweating to speak your name.”
She put the book aside and closed the distance between them, stopping a couple of feet from him. “I must apologise.Of course, my troubles can’t be compared with what you went through.”
“No, I didn’t mean it in that way. It’s me who should apologise.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Forgive me. I’m tired,” he stammered the last words.
She cupped his cheek without thinking. Her hand moved of its own accord, but she needed to touch him. The conversation she had with Marianne echoed in her head.
“I wish I’d been a better friend. You needed me, and I was here, lying and carousing from one useless party to the next. I’ve been very selfish.”
Perhaps Edith imagined things, but she could swear Perry’s glances at her were particularly heated. Since he’d bought her painting, she believed his attitude towards her had become more sensual. Or maybe it was her imagination.
No, she didn’t regret having posed for Valentine, not the act itself, but what had happened afterwards. The painting was personal. It was her personal journey towards… right. She didn’t know where she was going, to be honest.
Her journey wasn’t about freedom because her parents had always given her freedom and support to follow her dream, or what had been her dream. Even when she’d spent her days doing nothing, they’d been patient with her. But they weren’t stupid. They were aware something was wrong with her. Yet they’d never sent her away. And she’d abused that freedom for unimportant things while Perry had gone through a real struggle.
He covered her hand with his and tilted his head just enough to brush his sculpted lips against her inner wrist, shooting a bolt of lightning through her.
In her wild nights, she’d kissed many a gentleman, but the blast of pure excitement his gentle kiss triggered was unprecedented. One soft peck from Perry, and her whole bodysizzled with pleasure. The sensation had nothing to do with the shallow, fleeting thrills she experienced when drinking or spending a night out. This excitement reached her heart and curled up comfortably there.
“I don’t bear a grudge against you. I never have.” His warm voice was the perfect match for that little kiss. There was chastity in that kiss and sin in his gaze. “But it breaks my heart to know you suffered, too, and didn’t have a true friend next to you.”
“It’s not as dramatic as I let you think. Marianne has always been ready to help me. My parents would have helped me as well, had I let them. But at the same time, I think my wild years are part of a journey I had to take alone.” She caressed the line of his strong jaw, feeling the light stubble. “I confess I feel the need to do something wild and lose myself, not to think even now. It’s like a drug.”
“I know. I was you a long time ago.” He leant into her palm. “Will you resume your studies?”
She stiffened and removed her hand because one thing was to admit her past mistakes and make amends. Picking up her medical books was quite another. She doubted she had the skills to become a doctor. That dream was long gone.
“I’m not sure.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said.
“Nothing of the sort.” Her lost opportunity upset her. “It’s difficult for me. It’s too late. I missed the opportunity to get a medical career.”
He took her hand and kissed it. “It’s not too late. You only need time to realise that.”
Not picking up studying was what she wanted; she wondered if it was what she needed.
