twenty-nine
After Vivienne stopped crying, her chest felt empty. Her whole life did.
All those days she’d spent in bed, taken by a high fever or sudden sickness, had been a lie. She could have been healthy and happy and sailed to New York City to see Samuel as she had dreamed. Instead, she’d believed every word Dr. Tucker had said. She’d trusted him.
How stupid of her! She was angrier with herself than with Dr. Tucker. For years, she’d thought Mother’s fear of diseases and germs was ridiculous, but she’d fallen into the same trap.
The sweet taste of the purple potion she’d taken every day for years still lingered in her mouth. Learning the truth had sent a bitter shock through her. She had been upset with Mother for being gullible. How ironic.
Samuel sat next to her on the sofa in the drawing room after the shocking news. They were alone. Dobkins was somewhere in the house, and Captain Jackson had gone to start analysing the sample, or so Vivienne believed.
Life made little sense now, and she didn’t even care.
“How do you feel?” He stroked her knuckles with his thumb. The small gesture made her breathe better.
“Angry. Relieved. Confused.” She wiped a tear. “I hope Mother isn’t aware of what Dr. Tucker is doing, but her anger at knowing I was about to leave the house worries me.”
“I disagree with the captain about keeping the truth quiet. If you want to stay here tonight, your room is ready.”
She put a hand on his cheek. “I know, but I want to deliver Dr. Tucker to justice. One more night won’t change anything, and I’ll have the opportunity to collect all the potions Dr. Tucker prescribed me so the captain can examine them. If I stay here, I fear he might flee.”
“Another happy memory.” He brushed a curl of her hair from her face with infinite care.
“I’ll never doubt your word.”
The intense way he looked at her sparked energy within her, and above all, hope. One look from him worked better than any tonic.
“I so admire what you did with your household staff.” She caressed his cheek again. “Those people wouldn’t find employment easily, if at all.”
“We have some difficult days, but with a bit of organisation, the house runs smoothly, and I’m not deluded. Hadn’t it been for my good luck, I wouldn’t have easily found a job either.”
“You seemed worried when you introduced me to your staff.”
He gazed down. “I wasn’t sure how you would react. I have my own…problems here.” He put a hand on his throat. “And here.” He pointed to his head. “My problems added to a particular household full of people like me might have been too much for you.”
“No, never. You aren’t too much.” He was, but not in the way he thought. “You’re so strong and confident, I can only be proud of you.”
He shook his head. “The fear is still here.” He placed a hand over his chest. “Sometimes I can control it. Sometimes it controls me.”
She placed her hand over his. “Perhaps it’ll be easier if we control it together.”
He kissed her hand, sending shivers dancing on her skin. “I’m looking forward to it. I want to start a new life with you. I want to show you the world.”
Her heart gave a quick kick that stole her breath, and she hugged him. A few hours ago, she wouldn’t have believed she had the opportunity to take a holiday and leave London. Samuel made her dream again.
“Thank you.”
He held her, his arms around her, so he couldn’t sign. But it didn’t matter. His warmth said it all.
When Vivienne returned home,the atmosphere was glacial at dinner.
Even the footmen serving at the table seemed stiffer than usual.
She took small spoonfuls of her soup while Mother barely touched it, twirling her spoon without pause. Father sported a permanent frown.
Mother dropped the spoon and waved at the footman to take her bowl away. “My appetite is gone.”
Father straightened, assuming the pose he reserved for meeting with his business partners. “Are youunwell?”
