As we were returning home from Hyde Park, I searched the streets for Alex. He hadn’t shown up in two days, and I was worried his wounds had got worse.
“You’re quiet,” Papa said.
“I’m sorry. I’m not good company today.”
My silence wasn’t due to tiredness. I hadn’t told him about Alex’s sickness, and I had no idea if Jones was aware of Alex’s health.
That morning, with the sun still low on the horizon, the red brick walls were dull and serious. Not even the bright yellow daffodils in the garden lifted my mood.
My black riding habit mirrored my mood, and even Papa’s feelings were a jumble of steel-grey worry.
“What worries you, Papa?” I stroked my horse’s muzzle in front of my house before the groom took him away. “You can’t lie to me.”
“We should start thinking about your Season.” Papa rolled back on his heels.
“Excuse me?”
“It’s time for your debut. I’ve postponed it for too long.”
People didn’t invite me for tea, let alone a ball.
“Do you want me to get married?” The thought terrified me.
Other girls looked forward to getting married, starting a family, and becoming the lady of the house, but they were normal girls. I had seizures and a curse I struggled to control. Not to mention, I had no friends aside from Alex.
His expression softened. “No, I don’t want you to leave. But during your Season, you’ll have more freedom. Parties, afternoon teas, plays. You’ll spend time out, have new experiences, and make friends.”
“What about my seizures? Everyone thinks I’m insane.”
“Your health has improved considerably, and you control your ability better.”
I fiddled with the riding crop. Papa didn’t know everything.
“I’ve kept you with me, sheltering you from everything, while you need to be independent and learn how the world works.” His voice lowered, and his love for me reached me like a caress. “Some doctors claim that leading a normal life reduces the frequency of seizures while isolation exacerbates them.”
“But I’m happy to spend time with you.” If I had to be honest, finding myself in a ballroom full of strangers frightened me.
“So am I.” There was a hint of indigo sadness snaking through his aura, but it wasn’t bitter. “I won’t be with you forever…”
“Don’t.” I gripped the riding crop. “I can’t bear the thought.”
“One day, you’ll have to, and I want you to be prepared to face life without fear.”
We were headed for the front stairs when a dark-haired man came out of the servants’ entrance. At first, I thought it was Alex, but no. This man was skinnier and had puffy green eyes rimmed with red. When I probed him, a riot of colours burst in his aura. He had the brightest and most varied star-shaped halo I’d ever seen. The colours changed constantly.
He removed his flat cap when we walked past him and muttered, “My lord, miss.”
Papa proceeded towards the front door, but I stopped to talk with the man. “May I ask why you’re here?”
“Irene.” Papa frowned. “You don’t know this man.”
“I’m Mr. Darius Strange, Alex’s friend.” He wiped his face with his sleeve. “Alex isn’t well, miss.” His deep sadness itched along my skin.
“Is it the infection?” I pointed to my neck.
Shock flashed burgundy in his halo. “Yes.”
A few dark tendrils snaked through his glow. He wasn’t telling the whole truth.
