“I don’t regret it, but I thought that after that, you would have touched me.” She focused on her hands in her lap. “Are you truly afraid you’ll hurt me if you touch me?”
Letting her believe I couldn’t keep my vampire urges under control pained me intimately. The choice was between her believing I was wild and dangerous or that I was a complete idiot.
“I’m not a rogue. My thirst is under control.”
“Then what? You said you would lose control if you touched me.”
“Can we discuss that another time?”
I wasn’t proud of my answer, but I wanted to remain focused on keeping her safe in the city, and there was a difference between telling the truth and exposing myself completely.
She lowered her gaze, and the day became less bright. “I understand.”
The sadness in her words was a stab to my unbeating heart.
“What?”
She swallowed hard. “Sean didn’t… He beat me viciously, but he didn’t…you know. Are you disgusted with me because of what happened to me or because I’m a wili?”
“I’m not disgusted!” The carriage jolted as my power burst out with a strength that was surprising even to me.
She raised her gaze, half-shocked, half-terrified. Not exactly how I wanted her to look at me.
“I could never be disgusted with you. It’s important you believe me.” I leant back, realising that I’d edged too close to her. “And if he’d forced himself on you, my opinion of you wouldn’t change. I’m not one of the toffs of your world.”
She tensed. “What do you mean?”
That had come out patronising. “Society has expectations I don’t have. Purity means something else to me. It means kindness and compassion, and you have plenty of both.”
She found her hands suddenly fascinating. “That means a lot to me.”
“I reserve my disgust for Sean. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
She raised a shoulder. “I wonder if I fought him hard enough.”
“You did. He was stronger than you and used to violence.”
She remained silent.
“Irene, look at me.”
She obliged, but a shiver ran through her.
“You did nothing wrong.” How I wished to hold her.
She didn’t believe me, if her sad expression was any indication. “Then why do you avoid touching me?”
She wouldn’t use my weakness against me, but the reason I was reluctant to tell her the truth was a matter of shame rather than worry.
I didn’t practise what I preached.
“It can’t be because you’re the duke.” As the clouds parted, a beam of sunlight lit her golden hair while I remained in the shadows.
I flexed my fingers, stretching the leather of the gloves. She followed the gesture.
“I don’t like touching people, nor do I like being touched.” Each word cost an ounce of pain.
Darius knew my story because he’d been with me from the beginning. He understood. I hadn’t seen Irene in years, and I wasn’t ready to bare myself.
