Page 89 of Wingmen

“Yes. I imagine so. Do you have anyone there with you?”

“No.”

A pause. “Okay. Well…I suppose I’m here.” Another pause as she collected her thoughts. “My son called me to tell me what happened. I’m not here to get into your business – I just need to ask you some questions. And I want to let you know that this is difficult for Elliot because we have a personal history here that is influencing how he feels.”

Dustin frowned. “Oh. God.”

“I won’t tell you specifics. That is for him to decide. What Ineed you to do is tell me if you think this situation is something you are going to come through or not. Because to be honest, Dustin…”

She paused, and he heard heartache in the silence. She sighed.

“Because to be honest, Dustin: my son doesn’t call me. I don’t call him. We don’t talk – not for the last year, anyway. It is a problem. But he called me tonight, to tell me what you did – and we had a real conversation for the first time in a year. And it was agoodconversation, Dustin, and I would like to keep having them with him.”

Dustin sat frowning through the big window with no idea where this was going. “Okay…”

“He asked me what he should do about you, and honestly, Dustin, with the decisions it sounds like you’re making, as a mother, I feel like I should tell him never to see you again. But I’m afraid he won’t like that answer, and that if I tell him that, he might stop calling me. Do you see?”

Dustin nodded, closing his eyes. “Uh huh.”

“Because he cares about you.”

“Right.”

“So what I wouldliketo do, Dustin, is tell him that he’s an adult and he should do whatever he thinks is right. And that if he wants to see you, I will be here to support him. But I can only do that in good conscience if you can convince me that you are going to pull yourself together. Because I can’t support him putting himself into a situation with a person who isn’t going to do that. So can you do that?”

He shook his head, watching headlights on the hills through the window. “I don’t know.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing, Dustin.”

“Okay. No, right, sorry. Yes. I think so.”

“Are you sure?”

“...Yes? Yes.”

A long pause. When she spoke again, her voice was gentler. “I think so too.”

He scrubbed his face, sighing. “Yeah?”

“I do. And can I tell you why? Because you asked for help.”

They sat with the line quiet between them while Dustin absorbed this.

“I hope you understand how important that was,” she said. “It takes strength to do that. Not everybody does it. And the people who don’t are the ones who get into trouble. Those are the ones who you don’t find out how bad things are until it’s too late.”

Dustin nodded. Obviously she couldn’t see that, but he was afraid that if he tried to say anything he might break down, because he hadn’t realized how badly he needed to hear that someone thought he was going to be okay.

“I knew someone who didn’t ask for help,” she said. “He thought being strong meant handling things alone. It ended badly for him. I don’t know how it is in your family, but in my family that’s how it always was. Especially for the men.”

Dustin sighed. That’s exactly how it was. Dad spent months insisting his blood pressure was fine, that he wasn’t fatigued, that there was nothing wrong with how much he smoked, or worked…the list went on. And then he dropped dead at practice one day.

“Yeah,” he said. “It was the same.”

“So you understand. But I’m worried Elliot doesn’t. If you know him, then you know he’s – he thinks being strong means…I don’t know.Notasking for help. He thinks it’s a show you have to put on.”

“He’s been…confused.”

“Yes, well, claro. And I’ve tried to teach him, but to be honest, I don’t know if I’m the best role model – I haven’t been doing itright either. Anyway, he doesn’t seem to want to listen to anything hismotherhas to say about what strength is. But maybe he would listen to you.”