Right. I’m not sure why this man has me in such a trance, but I cut off a piece of steak and bite it, letting out an involuntary groan. “Oh fuck, my hubby can cook. That’s delicious.”
“I trust you know you need to chew, right?” John says dryly, and I can’t help but laugh.
“See, you’re always looking out for me, even when you’re being sarcastic,” I point out, because what doesn’t he get? We work well together. I help him lighten up, have fun, and he takes care of me in a way that makes me feel so special.
He grunts in response, but I’ll take it.
John’s steak really is phenomenal, so I don’t talk for a few minutes while I eat it all. “Thanks for sharing,” I say when I finish. “I can buy more groceries for us.” He nods at me as he chews. “I think I’ll go to Blake’s tomorrow to tell him I’m here and ready to help with anything he needs.”
“Okay,” he says simply.
But I want more from him. “What did you get them for their wedding gift?”
“Something from their registry,” he mutters.
I groan. “But that’s so boring.”
“No, it’s practical. What was I supposed to get them? Something they didn’t ask for?”
“Well, yeah. Registries are for distant relatives, not best friends. Blake’s rich, so he and Liam can buy anything they want, so I really got thinking, what can you give someone who has everything money can buy? Then I thought: love. But they already have each other, so I thought deeper about what Blake loves, and besides me, it’s animals.”
“No, Chad.” John cuts me off, but he hasn’t even heard my idea yet, and it’s really good.
“You didn’t even let me finish! But, yes, as long as he says yes, I’m going to give him a new puppy!”
“Jesus, Chad, you can’t just buy people pets! That’s like giving a kid a puppy for Christmas. It’s very frowned upon.”
He says this like I didn’t think of everything. “I know, which is why I only put down a nonrefundable deposit at the shelter. The puppy is too young to be adopted yet anyway. I’m going to show Blake a photo first, and if he wants the puppy I picked out, which I think he will, then I’ll go and get it for him. If he or Liam says no, then I’ll probably shed a few tears because I’m already kind of in love with the dog, and I want to be its uncle, but then I’ll tell the kind lady that she can pass the puppy onto the next home. But I think Blake will say yes, they do live on a farm after all, and they only have one dog. Lucky needs a friend. All the other animals have one.”
He stares at me for a long moment before finally responding. “Wow. At least you didn’t already get the dog, I guess.”
The smallest bit of praise from him lights me right up. “Of course. I’m not irresponsible.”
John still looks skeptical, but he must decide to move on, because he gets up to bring the dishes to the kitchen sink without a word, and I do the same, following him. The kitchen seems to be fine, it’s just outdated, and I really can’t imagine that any ofthe appliances work. The numbers on the oven are all on dials, and I have no idea how to get that to even turn on, not that I ever cook, but it seems like it’s at least fifty years old.
He quickly handwashes our plates and silverware, and then turns to look at me. “I’m going to bed. I’ve got a long day tomorrow.”
“Great, I’ll come too.” I smile, excited for us to get into a routine together even though he claims I won’t be here with him for more than a few days.
I follow him upstairs to our room, but after quickly grabbing some clothes, he turns back to the hall. “I’m going to shower.”
“Oh, is that an invite? Can I come?” I ask, hopeful as ever.
“No,” he scoffs, but once again, I’m used to him being dismissive, so it doesn’t sting. I’ll try again later. He’ll break down for me sooner or later; I know it.
I strip down into my boxer briefs and climb into bed. I showered this afternoon before I drove here, so it’s fine. I wiggle into bed, eagerly awaiting his return. I can’t help myself; I sniff his pillow, smiling because it smells just like him, and the reminder instantly calms me.
I hope he cuddles me all night tonight like he did in Vegas.
4
JOHN
Igrip the edge of my sink as I search my reflection, trying to reassure myself that I’m still the same person I was when I woke up this morning despite feeling like my life is spinning out of control. My appearance is unchanged: my dark hair hangs in waves nearly to my shoulders, tattoos cover almost all of my exposed skin, my beard could still use a trim, and green eyes stare back at me in the mirror on the old medicine cabinet that hasn’t closed properly in years.
I should be comforted by the fact that it all looks exactly the same. But the jittery, restless feeling underneath my skin hasn’t subsided since I first realized who was at my door. I attempt another deep breath and count backward from ten. Maybe this time it’ll actually help calm me down. Or maybe if I waste enough time in this bathroom, Chad will realize he made a mistake coming here and he’ll be gone when I return to my room.
If only.
