“Oh, you never know. I’m sure more would like it than you realize.”
“Nooooo. Come on, Will. Now I’m going to have to sit in my classes and think about my professors looking at a naked photo of you!” he whines.
“You’re welcome.” I wink, and he just shakes his head as he laughs. I wonder if he’s also picturing me naked. My brain is flipping that thought, and now I’m wondering what he’d look like naked. Do I actually want to know? Would I like to see him sprawled out for me the way I saw in the porn video?
“Want to go upstairs?” he asks, pulling me out of my thoughts that spiraled very quickly.
“Sure. I’m down to go wherever, but do you want a coffee first? I didn’t make one at home and wanted to wait for you before ordering.” I nod toward the coffee shop off to our right at the front of the library.
“Look at you still spoiling me,” he jokes with a grin, walking that way without a hint of hesitation. “Sure. Treat me to another coffee, Will.”
“Anything you want.” I follow his lead, standing in linebeside him as we both order and I happily pay. His smile as I do makes my chest feel a little more full.
Spoiling him might be my new favorite thing.
17
PORTER
“Will,” the barista calls, and he walks over to grab both of our coffees, returning with a huge smile on his face. It isn’t fair that he looks that fucking happy to see me.
“For you, to make up for keeping you up last night,” Will offers as he hands me my drink.
“Do you not hear how sexual that sounds?” I tease lightly as I try to hide my blush from him saying that so loudly in the café by taking a sip.
“Eh, oh well.” He shrugs it off easily as he laughs. “I’m a sexual being, what can I say?”
He’s certainly right about that, and I can’t help but think about the text he sent me earlier. I swear his messages are becoming more and more flirty.
I take another long sip, willing the iced beverage to cool me down, but it’s no use. I’ve been struggling all day to shut down the daydreams of what could’ve happened last night if things were different between us. If Will was attracted to men and there was any chance that… Nope. Fantasizing about him isn’t going tohelp anything. It’ll only feed into the stupid crush I’m trying desperately to ignore.
“It was really fine though. You didn’t even keep me up, but you know I always appreciate coffee,” I add in case he actually feels bad. This is exactly what I needed today. Caffeine really does help everything, and not having to pay for it is extra sweet. Having Will here with me is a nice surprise. Just like him inviting himself over last night was. And I’m back to obsessing about him in my bed. I’m hopeless. “You could’ve stayed.” I hear myself say the words without my permission, and my eyes snap up to Will’s.
“Really?” he asks, sounding optimistic.
Would he have actually wanted to?No, not like that,I remind myself.
“Yeah, I wasn’t trying to kick you out. You did seem really tired. I was just worried you might not want to wake up and realize you accidentally spent the night in my bed. Since, you know, I’m gay.” I overexplain because he looks confused.
“Yeah, and?” he asks, brows drawn together as if he can’t possibly comprehend why that’s relevant.
Maybe to him it really isn’t. I guess I’m just paranoid about being accused of putting someone in a situation they aren’t comfortable in. Not that I’d ever willingly do that, but Robbie said a lot of things in the end that had me questioning everything about our friendship. I think now I always worry that I’m misunderstanding my relationships with people, especially other men. Maybe that’s why I’m as blunt as I am now.
But so is Will. He’s been transparent from the beginning, honest and unafraid to talk about heavier things like our families and financial situations. He’s one of the first straight guys I’ve ever met who actually doesn’t seem to care about my sexual orientation at all. It’s equal parts refreshing and confusing.
I probably shouldn’t be encouraging sleepovers with howmuch I’ve been fantasizing about a version of Will who’s attracted to me this morning. But I know that’s all it is, a daydream that will never happen, so I embrace how good it feels to have a friend who wants to spend so much time with me, and offer, “Next time.”
“Cool. Maybe another day this week,” he suggests easily. “So should we find somewhere to sit?”
I nod, and we head upstairs, mind reeling on Will actually wanting to sleep over. I do my best to shake the thought off as we find a free table in the back corner. We set down our coffees and backpacks while I pull my laptop out and Will does the same. It’s giving me the illusion I’ll get something done, but I highly doubt I will with him here to distract me.
“So, when is lacrosse season?” I ask, not even pretending to work.
“Now. We’ve had a decent start. There’s another game later this week and then a few in North Carolina over spring break coming up.”
“That’ll be fun. Did you grow up playing? I don’t think we had lacrosse at my high school, so I don’t know anything about it.”
“Yeah, it’s really big in Maryland. We had summer leagues before you could even play in school. My parents were never really into sports, but when I said I wanted to play, they didn’t hesitate to sign me up,” he explains with a huge smile.
