Page 186 of The Villain We Tempt

29

GALINA

I wake up alone.

The gray early morning light bleeds through the curtains. I shiver as I hug the duvet around me, feeling empty.

Last night was only the second time we’ve slept in the same bed. But when I turn and my hands find cold sheets where his warm, strong body should be, I ache inside.

I want him here, with his arms still around me.

I lie there for a long moment, staring at the ceiling and listening to the wind throw thin, sleeting rain at the window.

Wren’s going to be okay. Hearing the doctors say that last night felt like a huge exhale of a held breath. I know she’s the only thing I should be focusing on right now, and I feel like the world's worst friend for worrying aboutanythingelse, but I can’t help it.

Because somewhere between the horrible uncertainty of the hospital waiting room and Lochlan's arms wrapped around me as I sank into sleep, something changed. Maybe it was almostlosing one of my best friends. Maybe it was realizing how fleeting life can be, or how abruptly it can get taken away from you.

A faint smile touches the corners of my lips as I hug the duvet around myself, still listening to the gray morning rain against the window.

I called him Lochlan just now. Not Ghost.

The smile grows wider.

I’ve known, I suppose, for longer than I wanted to admit. But almost losing Wren last night took away the last of my fears about what happens when the mask comes off.

When the fantasy becomes real.

Lochlan is The Ghost Prince. And I realized last night that I want him in every part of my life, not just the shadowy fantasy play.

I don’t want to fall asleep without his arms around me. I don’t want to wake up with him not lying beside me.

I don’t want to pretend anymore, and I don’t want to be afraid of something being “too real”.

Iwantreal.

My energy isgoneafter the adrenaline and panic dump of last night. But still, there’s a spark inside me as I drag myself out of bed and get dressed on autopilot, and it's still flickering gently as I glance up at the long, massive snake skeleton hanging above the entryway of The Atheneum.

“Wish me luck, friend,” I mouth quietly to Long John Slither before I step out into the wet morning, huddled under my umbrella.

Campus is quiet except for the pitter patter of the rain and the dull, rhythmic thud of my heart in my chest.

Maybe I'm still scared, not knowing what’s going to happen after I do this.

But maybe…maybe…I don’t care anymore. Maybe I haven’t lost my fear of the unknown at all, I’ve just decided to embrace it.

Maybe I know that when I step off the edge of the cliff, he’ll be there with me, which means I won’thaveto be scared anymore.

At 7:59, I walk into the Social Psychology of Deception classroom for our last "Shadow vs. Persona" session.

Lochlan is already here.

He’s sitting at a small desk pulled front and center of the lecture hall, facing the door. But for the first time, there's no smirk waiting for me when I enter this room. No smug, cocksure tilt to his lips.

I cross the floor, drop my bag, and sit down across from him. My hands are shaking slightly as I press them flat against my thighs to make them stop.

Lochlan’s piercing blue eyes lock on mine.

Blue.