Page 35 of The Villain We Tempt

The caption runs “POV: when he puts you on your knees and uses your mouth like his good girl <3”.

I know.I know.

But my fans are going tolove it.

I tap the “publish” button, feeling the familiar flutter of nerves and excitement that always comes with every new post.

When I first started putting on a mask, wig, and scandalously sexy outfits and performing as this alter ego, I told myself it was because of the books.

I reallydolove what I read. The heat, the possessive, utterly insane fictional men, the crazy plot twists, the forced proximity…all of it. I told myself that jumping on the BookTok content creator bandwagon was my way of expressing that love.

What I didn’t realize, or maybe didn’t want to admit to myself, was that it wasn't just about the books.

It was about the attention.

Ilikeletting this side of me out to play.

Yes, my audience is overwhelmingly straight women. It’s not like I’m on social media shaking my ass for men to snag OnlyFans subscribers or whatever.

But maybe that’s what made it so easy to melt into this role. I’mnottrying to appeal to the male gaze. I’m not doing this for men at all. I’m doing it for women just like me, who love the same fucked-up dark romances, and swoon over the same red-flag-parade fictional men.

At the risk of sounding like the biggest cliche in the world, I love doing this because it’s empowering, and I like the idea that it empowers other women, too.

But there’s also another reason I gravitate toward this. One that I keep to myself, and don’t tell a soul.

I get off on it.

Ilikethe attention. Even if it’s not directly sexual, it allows me to feel a certain raw sexuality I’ve never felt otherwise.

When you come right down to it, Velvet Villainess is acharacter. She’s who I wish I could be in real life: vivacious, sexy, bold, sensual. In touch with and unapologeticallyokaywith her desires and fantasies.

In real life, that's not me.

I mean, I’ve currently got a cashmere sweater draped over my shoulders, for fuck's sake. It's like there’s two version of me: thegood girl who wears preppy clothes, irons her underwear, and has never done anything with a guy.

And the vixen.

Thevillainess.

Again, I’m not dancing in leather fetish gear to appeal to men.

…But that’s not to say that the idea of being watched like that by a man doesn’t turn me on.

It does.

Alot.

And as much as I hate to admit it, and regardless that I’ve now landed on “coerciveblackmail” to describe my encounter with him, the idea of The Ghost Prince watching me is…

Exciting to think about.

Arousing.

Okay, it’s outrageously hot.

Except now, chasing that thrill has attracted the wrong kind of attention.

…Or maybe it’s exactly therightkind, I just don’t know how to deal with it now that I have it.