The rest of my weekend was either spent at the bar, hanging out with Molly, or repeatedly masturbating in my room. The thought of Cole and Ezra sharing a woman had sent my libido into overdrive, and even after rubbing about a half dozen out, I still wasn’t feeling back to normal.
Why did he have to share that particular bit of information with me? Something that had once been just a fleeting erotic fantasy was now all I could think about. To make matters worse, sometimes Silas, and even Abel, joined Ezra and Cole in my thoughts. Clearly, the tension between the singer and I wasn’t enough to dampen the physical attraction I felt toward him. I was like a teenager going through puberty—restless, horny, and on edge. All of this spelled out serious trouble.
Silas pulled up in his truck, snapping me out of my reverie. I was sure I was wearing a tell-tale blush, and I ran a hand through my hair in a pathetic attempt to appear casual.
“Hey,” I called out to the big man when he got out, and he returned my greeting with a brisk nod. He was wearing a gray bomber and fitted black jeans that flattered his muscular legs. I let out a long breath, steeling myself for the upcoming conversation.
“How was your weekend?” I asked and then bit on my lip.
He took me in, his eyes quickly taking inventory of my bike shorts, white T-shirt and vintage jean jacket. Then he looked away, and my stomach dropped.
“Fine, except for a pretty embarrassing situation with someone I work with.”
Silas being Silas was not one to beat around the bush.
“Did you kiss someone else you work with, or are you talking about me?” I tried to joke to lighten the mood, but his serious expression made it clear he didn’t appreciate the attempt.
After a moment, he sighed. “Adeline, I want to apologize. I was out of line.”
Raising my hand, I stopped him from continuing. “No, I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”
He crossed his arms, brows furrowing. “So did I just completely misread you? You’re not interested in me?”
I struggled to come up with a response. Of course, I found Silas attractive—I wasn’t a corpse. I also looked up to him as a guitarist. He was intense but good-hearted, blunt but thoughtful. I liked himtoomuch, which was exactly the problem. Anything between us would have a depressingly short lifespan of three weeks. I also had no idea how opening Pandora’s box with him would affect my feelings for the rest of his band mates. What if I couldn’t let go of them? What if I thought of Cole or Ezra or Abel while I was kissing Silas? Sayingthattruth was impossible, but I didn’t want to feed him lies again.
“This gig has been nothing short of a miracle for me,” I started to explain, choosing my words carefully. “If two weeks ago, someone had told me I’d be recording an album with a world-famous metal band that I admired, I’d drive them to the mental institution myself. I feel as if I’ve been swept up by a whirlwind, but I know I have to stay anchored to the ground. Silas, you are incredible in so many ways, but after this month ends, you’ll still be living that same glamorous life, and I’m going to have to go back to normal. It will be hard enough as is to say goodbye to you guys, to the studio… Starting something with you will make it even more complicated. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that right now.”
At last, the guitarist’s face relaxed an inch. “Okay, I get it.” When I gave him a thankful smile, his expression became contemplative. “Why are you so convinced this entire experience is just a blip in your normal reality? How can you be sure it’s not the start of something new?”
My tentative smile faded, and I looked at the ground. “I just am, okay? I’ve long given up on trying to have a career in music, and as thankful as I am to be doing this with you guys, I’m not naive enough to think this somehow boosts my chances of succeeding in a field few ever do. I’m too old and saddled with too many responsibilities to waste my time on silly dreams.”
When I lifted my face, his hazel eyes were indignant. “I think you’re selling yourself short.”
Before I could respond, Ezra’s Jeep pulled up beside Silas’s truck with him and Cole inside.
I turned and greeted the new arrivals, letting Silas’s last statement linger in the air without a response.
* * *
“He was a completely different person,” Cole told me as we got set up at the studio. “I wouldn’t have recognized him if I saw him walking in the street.”
I smiled, glad his tense weekend at his sister’s in LA had gone better than expected.
“So you’ll be going back there more often in the future?” I asked.
“When we go back, yeah, I’ll be paying them more visits. Now that I’m reasonably sure he isn’t going to break my sister’s heart, I’ve finally started to get excited about the baby. I’m going to be an uncle soon!”
His grin almost made up for the sharp pang of sadness I felt at the mention of them leaving River Valley when this recording was finished.
Abel introduced a new arrival as we were about to begin—Kyle, the sound engineer. He was going to be working with us on the recording for the next three weeks. He was a slight man who seemed a little intimidated by the band. I greeted him warmly since I’d been in a similar position only a week prior.
We began by running through a few songs from last week. After the extra practice session with Silas, I was able to nail my parts, and Abel seemed pleased, complimenting my playing with a curt, “Good job.” Maybe I was turning a corner with him after all.
For the rest of the day, we focused on laying down the rhythm guitar and drum tracks. The whole day was incredibly productive, and I couldn’t believe we were well past dinner time when I finally looked at the clock.
“Let’s order in. Abel, why don’t we head to your place for dinner?” Cole suggested.
Abel grunted in agreement before going to grab his things from the vocal booth. As I moved to pack up my guitar, Cole nudged my shoulder. “Adeline, you’re in, right?”
