“You looked him up for a reason,” I said. “Some part of you wants to know him.”
“People make a big deal out of fathers, right? They’re supposed to teach you things. What if the reason I hate rules and don’t know how to make friends and all that shit is because he was supposed to have taught me?”
“You can’t use your dad as an excuse for why you’re an asshole,” I teased him. “You’ve got to at least meet him first.”
My comment broke through his serious demeanor. “Yeah, you’re right. I just have to fucking do it, don’t I?”
“You know I’ll come with you if that will help, right?”
He shook his head. “I’ve gotta do this alone, I think.”
“Let me know if you change your mind.”
“I will.”
While we cleared the dining table, I thought about all those Wednesday mornings Kaz had been gone. I’d never wondered too much about where he went. He needed space, even from me at times, so I’d assumed he left the house to go on a long drive and get his alone time. Turns out, I’d been wrong. I’d assumed things about my best friend instead of digging to find out the truth. All this time, he could have used my support, and I’d been too blind to see it.
Guilt gnawed at me.
I’d been so focused on myself and Last Rites since we came to LA that maybe I’d begun to take Kaz for granted. He’d been the strong one in the beginning, taking care of things while I tried to come to terms with our new life. Now it was my turn.
I needed to end things with Charlotte to remove at least one distraction.
And I needed to make peace with Molly. If being with her helped Kaz, then I had to be fine with them hooking up. My own feelings be damned.
* * *
Molly arrived in the mid-afternoon with her hair up in a high ponytail and her lips tinted with some kind of gloss.
I let her inside, for once not in a rush to get her to Kaz so he could be a barrier between us. She looked at me with curious eyes, as if sensing the change on some level. “How are you?” she asked.
“Fine. Sorry I missed you yesterday,” I said, shutting the door behind her.
Her cheeks flushed red. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Do you want some coffee before we start?”
“Sure.”
She was sitting on the edge of the couch waiting for me when I returned with two cups of coffee. She tracked my movements, a cautious smile on her face.
“So what did Trinity say about all the content you’ve got?” I sat down on the other end of the couch.
She took a sip and scrunched her nose. “Wow, it’s hot. Um, she seems happy with it. I think she’s going to reevaluate how else I can help you guys, but for now, she’s told me to keep going. I hope I can keep taking photos until the photoshoot at least.”
I blew over the top of my cup. “I realized the other day I’ve never seen any of your pictures.”
“Oh, I should have offered to show you.”
“Nah. I should have asked.” The words were a peace offering, easing some of the tension between us.
She placed her coffee on the small table, reached for her backpack, and pulled out her laptop. “Let me get some of my favorites.”
While she did her thing, I drank in her appearance. Paying too close attention to how she looked was something I usually tried to resist doing, but at this point, I had to desensitize myself to her one way or another.
She’d always been petite, a good few inches shorter than her sister. Her blonde pink-tipped hair draped over her shoulders, the colors reminding me of a River Valley sunset in the winter. I could still recall how soft it was the one time I’d held it in my hand. She’d smelled like lilacs that night. It must be her favorite perfume, because even now, I could pick up on the same, subtle notes.
Today, she wore an oversized jean jacket over a white T-shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans. The way she dressed around us was less formal than her clothes at the office. Was that intentional? So that we’d feel more comfortable around her and her camera?
