Did I want that promotion or not? With Trinity as my mentor, I could really make a career for myself. I knew what to expect having seen what her life looked like—a blur of strategy meetings, industry parties, and deal making. Trinity was always busy, always on, always ready to snatch up talent that showed promise. I admired her as much as I was terrified of her. She was powerful and successful—a perfect role model. And yet imagining myself in her shoes didn’t fill me with excitement.
It filled me with an uncomfortable dread.
Would I ever have time to relax? To slow down and appreciate the life around me? To notice other people and admire how they navigated their own imperfect lives? Or would I become like her? Feared, untouchable, removed. Isolated by the virtue of her incredible accomplishments.
I splashed some water on my face, but no answers came. Instead, my thoughts drifted back to Kaz, as they tended to these days.
Now that I knew how Kaz had grown up, I was starting to understand why he was the way he was. I lost my parents at fifteen, but during those fifteen years, there hadn’t been a day where I’d felt unloved. To live a life feeling unwanted? I couldn’t comprehend it. It was untenable. Awful. No wonder he’d chosen to keep his distance from most other people. If I’d been hurt like him, I’d never want to risk feeling that pain again.
Sliding farther into the hot water, I pressed my palms together between my knees. Thing was, he was risking something by being with me. I didn’t know how he felt about me. It wasn’t like we’d spoken about it in the week and a half we’d been hooking up, but the clues were there. Being with him was electric. The chemistry that used to keep us at odds turned into something far more heated when our clothes came off. We were an escape for each other. And that was fine, wasn’t it? We could be just that as long as it served us well. A temporary reprieve from the things we didn’t want or were too tired to face.
Like my evolving relationship with Mason.
I reached for wine and took a big gulp. We were on friendly terms now, although I still couldn’t figure out how to crush the very non-friendly butterflies that swirled inside my belly whenever I caught him looking at me. For a long time, I thought it was the lack of closure that had kept me from moving on, but the closure had arrived last week. I’d apologized. He accepted.
New beginnings.
We’d even shaken hands on it.
There was now a clear path for us to be friends, and I wasn’t going to throw it away over the unrequited ache inside my chest. He knew about me and Kaz. Clearly, he didn’t care. Clearly, he’d been able to get over me like a normal person, or otherwise Kaz would have never made a move on me. Of that, I was sure. He wouldn’t have jeopardized his friendship with his bandmate for a hookup, which told me Mason didn’t give a crap about us being together.
The phone buzzed on the ground, the screen flashing Kaz’s name. I picked it up.
“Can I come over?”
“No,”I typed back.
“Why not?”
“I’m taking a bath.”
“You’re naked right now?”
“Is there another way to take a bath?”
“Fuck. Address. Now.”
I sat up quickly, and some of the water splashed over the edge.“I’m going to bed soon. Had a headache all day.”
“I’ll eat you out until you forget all about your headache.”
His words sent a surge of heat right between my legs, but there was no way he was coming here.
“My place is a mess.”
“Don’t care.”
“Seriously, Kaz. Not happening.”
The dots blinked for a while. “Fine. But be a good girl and touch yourself for me tonight.”
I read the words in his deep voice sounding in my head. My hand slid down to the apex of my legs, my fingers pressing gently against my clit. I imagined it was Kaz’s hand expertly working me up. He knew how to dance with the wild thing inside of me, lure her out, make her feel right at home.
My gasps filled the air. “You’re a sight when you come, baby girl,”he’d said to me a few days ago in his growly voice while his cock was buried deep inside of me. He had a way of fucking me like it was the only thing he ever wanted to do for the rest of his life. Languid and unrushed for a while, only to turn brutal during moments when I craved it most. He’d lift my hips with his strong hands and pummel into me until my body could do nothing but surrender.
My climax crested inside of me, making me throw my head back, and tearing a moan out my throat. I trembled in the lukewarm water, riding the waves of pleasure until the last one passed.
My eyes blinked open.
