The truth stung like a bitch. Our first few guests had arrived right then, saving me from coming up with an insincere rebuttal, but Mason’s words stayed with me through the night. I thought about them as well as my off-the-cuff offer to walk away from Hyperion if they fired Molly.
Fuck, what was happening to me? I’d said that to her without thinking twice about it. I couldn’t fucking stand the thought of her getting penalized for something I’d said, but her shocked reaction had told me I’d taken it too far. I promised Mase not to let my feelings for her mess with Last Rites, and I’d nearly broken that promise.
I was furious with myself and angry at the world. So much so that when Molly returned, I barely looked at her. I hadn’t noticed anything was wrong.
Fucking asshole.
I let out a breath. “It’s fine. I hate fighting with you, man.”
“Me too. It’s my fault. I’ve been too caught up in my shit for the past while, but I promise you I’m done with that. I shouldn’t have said that about you and Molly. I have no idea how she feels about you, and as long as you’re happy with her, I’m happy for you, dude.” He looked me directly in the eyes as he said it, as if to underscore his sincerity.
I nodded and steered us back to the problem at hand. “She can’t go back there until the fucker is gone.”
“Agree. When she wakes up, we can ask where she wants to stay in the meantime. She’ll probably be most comfortable at Ade’s.”
Was it selfish to want her to stay here with us, where both of us could keep an eye on her? The powerful protectiveness I felt took me by surprise, largely because I’d never felt this way about anyone.
And to her you’re just a guy she’s using to move on from Mason.
If he knew the truth behind our arrangement, I had no doubt in my mind he’d make his move. Didn’t matter how fucking remorseful he’d seemed just now. If he even suspected she still had feelings for him, nothing would stop him from pursuing her. Not even having me in the middle.
It dawned on me that I was a shitty friend. He was willing to step aside for me, but I wasn’t willing to do the same. I was keeping them away from each other because with every single day, I fell more and more for this girl, even though I doubted she’d ever feel the same.
It couldn’t last. It was a farce put on by a shitty puppeteer. But fuck if I wasn’t going to draw it out. In this very moment, she was inmybed, inmysheets, leaving her maddening scent in the very place I slept. It was a heady feeling.
Mason shot a look at the clock. “We should get some sleep. We’re going to have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
I was wide awake, but I nodded in agreement. “She’s going to need us.”
He slapped me on the back and trudged into his room while I tried to decide if I should crash on the couch or sleep beside Molly. The latter was obviously preferred, but I didn’t want to invade her space without making sure she was okay with it, and I could only do that if I woke her up.
Couch it is. I crept into my room as quietly as I could to grab a spare blanket and pillow from the closet, and she stirred on the bed.
“Kaz?” she called out quietly, her voice heavy with sleep. Her hair was a golden halo painted across the pillow, her face dark with shadows I wanted to chase away.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said hoarsely.
She eyed the stuff under my arm. “I’m in your bed.” It was as if she’d only realized it now. “I can move to the couch.”
“Forget it. Go back to sleep.”
When she didn’t say anything, I turned to leave, thinking she’d drifted off again.
“Wait. Will you hold me?”
My pulse sped up. Silly girl, didn’t she know I’d do anything for her right about now? “Of course.”
I placed the bed stuff on the ground, lifted the blanket, and slid in beside her, gently pulling her into my chest. She sighed in what sounded like relief and moved my arm until it was snug around her waist. Within seconds, her breathing slowed and she was asleep. I suspected I wouldn’t catch a wink with her in my arms like this.
Pressing my nose against her hair, I took a deep breath. It was only for one night. She didn’t need me like this. It meant nothing to her.
And yet, it meant everything to me.
* * *
When I blinked my eyes open, the darkness outside had lifted, and Molly was sitting with her back against the headboard, typing something out on her phone. I’d managed to fall asleep after all. I even felt somewhat rested, but as soon as I remembered what Mase and I had to do today, the feeling disappeared.
Molly scooted her feet closer to her butt and plopped her phone facedown on the bed. “Morning.”
