I stop on the porch, press my palms against the railing, and look out at the neighborhood. I can hear the distant sound of a dog barking, a car driving by, the soft rustle of some animal moving through the trees behind the house. It’s a familiar scene, one that I was starting to get used to. But now, after tasting that freedom, that raw power, everything else seems dull and lifeless.
I close my eyes and give my head a shake, trying to rid myself of that insatiable feeling.
Just once. That’s what I promised myself. I’d let Nero outjust once.
Yes, it felt exhilarating to slip into old habits, but I can’t be that guy here if I want to keep Blake.
And I want that more than anything. Even more than the thrill of my old life.
I push away from the railing and walk across the porch toward the front door.
As soon as I step inside, I call Blake’s name. No answer.
I see her outside through the living room window. She’s bundled up in her coat, getting something from the shed on the edge of her backyard.
The gun’s still tucked inside my waistband, pressed against my back, and I need to put it away before she comes inside.
I’m about to go back out to put it back in the car, but something stops me. Better to keep it closer in case anything happens. Brett’s not going to retaliate, he’s too much of a pussy for that, but there’s no harm in being cautious.
Upstairs, in one of the unfinished bedrooms, there’s a built-in closet that should do the trick. I jiggle the drawer, trying to open it, but the damn thing’s stuck.
Maybe it’s a sign I should just put the gun back in the car.
“Rowan?”
I whip around and find Blake standing at the threshold of the room still in her winter coat and boots.
My stomach drops. “Jesus, you scared me.”
“I just came in to get some scissors, but then I heard noise coming from up here and thought I’d take a look…” Her eyes widen. “Why do you have a gun?”
Fuck.
Great. This is just fucking great. I say the first explanation that comes to mind. “I thought I’d get one as a precaution in case your godfather starts coming by more often.”
“Uncle Lyle?” A notch appears between her brows. “I haven’t seen him since he came by here that one day.”
I shift on my feet. “I know, but I’ve been thinking about it, and you were right. He’s dangerous, and I shouldn’t have been so cavalier about it. I don’t want to be in a situation where I can’t defend you.”
A flicker of apprehension appears in her gaze. She doesn’t like my answer.
I hold my breath, waiting for her to call me out on my lie. But after a long moment, her expression softens, and she gives me a small nod.
“Okay, yeah, you’re right. We should be prepared.”
I let out a silent breath of relief and turn back to the drawer. A few hard tugs finally get it to open up. I stash the gun away and close it firmly.
Blake watches me the entire time, her bottom lip between her teeth.
“It’s going to stay right here, okay? If anything happens while you’re home alone, you’ll know where to find it.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to touch that. I wouldn’t know how to use it anyway.” A line appears between her brows. “Do you?”
Taking a few steps closer, I stop in front of her. “I took a class a long time ago. But I don’t want you to worry. It’s just a precaution.”
Blake studies me, her eyes searching mine. Does she suspect I’m lying? Fuck, I should have been more careful. I’m still amped up from confronting Brett.
I hold my breath, waiting for her next move, praying she doesn't push further. After what feels like an eternity, her tense posture relaxes. She closes the space between us and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her cheek against my chest.
