The scenery outside the window spins as the car pirouettes across the road. I yelp and hear Rowan swear. He fights for control, wrestling the wheel back and forth. The sound of the tires skidding on the snow is punctuated by the staccato beat of my own racing heart.
The flashback crashes into me like a brutal wave.
“Hold on, kid.”
“I’m scared, Daddy!”
A sudden warmth spreads through my body, subtle at first but rapidly intensifying. There’s a furnace inside me, and it’sjust been ignited. The heat comes from deep within my core, radiating outward like ripples on water.
“I don’t want to do this!”
“Shut your mouth, girl.”
My skin prickles. Sweat beads across my forehead. I’m right back there, on the back of my father’s bike in the Ring of Fire, my hands slippery against the leather of his vest, and my eyes squeezed shut. The roar of the crowd is in my ears, so loud it’s deafening. He rides at high speed in an impossibly tight circle. All I can do is hold on and pray we won’t crash.
I brace for impact, but then as quickly as it started, the sliding stops.
For a moment, the only sound is the engine idling.
Then Rowan’s voice fills the air. “Hey. You okay?"
My heart is inside my throat, my nervous system in overdrive. I press my palms to my chest and try to inhale.
I can’t.
There's a strange, almost suffocating quality to the air now. It feels thick, harder to breathe. My clothes cling uncomfortably to my skin, damp with sweat, and I’m aware of every layer.
There’s no damn air.
“Shit.”
I hear a car door open, then close, then open again. Cold air rushes inside and bites against my burning skin. A warm hand appears on my thigh. “Blake, look at me.”
My eyes crack open. It takes me a moment to orient myself because the car is skewed and facing the wrong direction. Rowan is standing outside, between the open door and my seat, his concerned gaze on me. Snowflakes pepper his hair.
The hand on my thigh squeezes gently. Another comes up to brush against my cheek. “You’re burning up.”
“Panic attack,” I manage to pant out.
“Let’s get your coat off.” He helps me pull the zipper all the way down and pushes the coat off my shoulders. “Take a deep breath.”
I do. It’s easier now that the vicious heat inside me is ebbing away. My breath is a puff of steam that quickly dissipates into the frigid air.
Rowan’s eyes stay glued to my face as his hands gently press down on my thighs. There are thin gold shards slicing through his hazel irises. I hadn’t noticed them until now.
He turns one palm up. “Take my hand.”
I do it, sliding mine into his much bigger one. Even in my current state, I can’t help but marvel at how nicely it fits.
“Breathe with me,” he says softly, curling his fingers around me. “In and out. We’re safe, Sunshine.”
I swallow and do as he says. “We’re safe.”
“That’s right,” he rumbles.
My next inhale brings his scent into my lungs, and it makes the panic from moments earlier melt away.
“Have you been in a car accident before?” He runs his thumb over the inside of my palm. That tiny movement shouldn’t make the hairs on the back of my arms stand straight, but it does.
