“Good plan. Put it on my calendar. Something must be done. He can’t keep missing days. Our projects won’t plan themselves.”
Arnie takes a sip of his coffee. “You remember you have that tile lady coming today at noon? She called ten minutes ago to say she’ll be bringing lunch. I thought you two were going to go to Frostbite for your meeting.”
Damn it.“I told her I didn’t have time to go out. I was hoping we could keep the meeting to a half hour.” The rep from Wonder Tiles can be a pain in the ass.
Arnie shrugs. “Good luck.”
I look over at Blake. She’s still talking to Judy. Does she want coffee? Probably. I pour her a cup and take it to her.
Her eyes light up when I hand her the mug. “Oh, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Judy glances between the two of us. “What’s Blake going to be helping you with today?”
“Well, Pete’s out again.”
“Ah, yes, the poor dear.”
“I was thinking Blake can organize the materials for the meetings Sam and I have tomorrow. Can you walk her through it?”
“Sure,” Judy says with a smile.
“I’ll be in my office, Sunshine. Knock if you need anything.” When I lean forward and press a kiss to Blake’s forehead, Judy makes a small gasp.
“Okay.” Blake looks flustered as I pull away. She gives me a shaky smile. “Good luck with your call, honey.”
My heart skips a beat. Oh fuck, I like that. I like thata lot.
I force a grin to hide my slightly bewildered expression. “Yep. Thanks.”
In my office, I take a seat behind my desk and press my palms against my face. Fuck, what’s wrong with me? Sometimes she makes me feel like a teenage boy, and it’s fucking unsettling.
I drop my hands and lean back in my chair, staring at the computer monitor as it boots up.
This is when it usually hits—the gnawing anxiety, the feeling of something being off. It’s not that I hate this job, but every morning I come here, lock the door behind me, and hear my stepdad’s voice echoing in my mind.
You don’t belong here. You will never belong here. You’re a made man, through and through. It’s in your blood, in your soul, in your heart.
Those whispers hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest.
Not today though. Today it’s quiet.
And I think it’s because Blake is here. Being around her makes all this feel less suffocating.
She wouldn’t be around me if I was still Nero. A criminal, just like her dad.
Is she the silver lining in all of this? Did I lose everything so that I could have someone like her?
I let out a deep sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I’m not sure what I want from her anymore. The plan was always to eventually let her go. But now, sleeping with her doesn’t seem like it will be enough. Of course, I still want to—physically, my body craves her in a way it’s never craved anyone else. But my feelings for her are starting to inch into a territory that’s decidedly more complicated.
Arnie’s right. I can’t hurt her. I can’t break her heart. So where does that leave me?
A better man might end things right now, before we both get in too deep.
But that’s not who I am.
CHAPTER 23
