“Yeah, and I can guarantee you I’ll be in bed alone by ten p.m., the same way I was last year. These nerdy software engineers have no idea how to have a good time.”
“I think it’s a good thing you’re not going to be at the charity auction. We can’t have you blowing money you don’t have just because you feel bad for people who donated the items.” Del has a track record of draining her savings bidding on things no one else seems to want, which will probably be my mixology class this year. One time, she spent three hundred dollars on a collection of empty perfume bottles.
“Hey, I have no regrets. If I was there, you know I’d bid the hell out of your class.”
I groan. “I’m dreading it. It’s going to be so embarrassing if no one wants it.” And there’s a good chance no one will, but I couldn’t say no to Lottie. She’s always been kind to me, and I loved her as a teacher.
Del tsks. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re telling me you’re not even a little excited?”
I set the iron aside and lift the satin dress I dug out of the back of my closet a few days ago. It’s red with black polka dots, long sleeves, and a boat neck.
It should do.
“I wouldn’t even go if Rowan weren't insisting on it. But he and I have a deal, so this is me earning my keep.”
Nerves flutter in my stomach. Dinner at Emerald Grill was overwhelming, but tonight, the whole town will be present to witness Rowan and me acting like a couple.
We’ve barely talked since the night of our last date.
He's spent the last three days silently driving me to the office and then silently driving me back home. All week, he’s looked like there’s a lot on his mind. And Sam was around the whole weekend, walking me through the plans for the renovations and helping me clear the rest of my things out. When Rowan wasn’t helping us, he made himself scarce.
Now it’s Monday, the night of the party, and I’m desperate to break the ice that’s set in between us.
Was I too harsh with him on the ride home? Probably.
I don’t know why I went off on him like that.
Actually, that’s a lie. I do know.
That date unmoored me. Rowan makes me feel all sorts of things, and the more time I spend with him, the less I remember all the reasons I should keep my guard up.
I felt like I needed to plant a stake in the ground and make it clear to both of us that it doesn’t matter how my body reacts to him. Or how I’ve been dreaming of his hands on me again for days. Or how there’s a tiny part of me that’s excited about this party despite my nerves because I’ll get a chance to be close to him again.
None of that matters, damn it.
If I give in and sleep with him, the confusing feelings inside me will grow wings, and I’m scared I won’t be able to rein them back in.
Del snorts. “I’m sure he’d be happy to let you earn your keep in other ways.”
“Stop it.”
“Oh, c’mon. Don’t tell me you still haven’t fooled around.”
“Not at all.”
“You’re really telling me you’ve been there for more than a week now, and nothing’s happened between you two?”
I think back to the night after we went to The Junction. I think back to him standing shirtless in the kitchen, cooking eggs for me. I think back to how I cozied up on his lap, not once, buttwice.
Oh,something’sbeen happening.
But I can't tell Dell that. Not when I don't understand any of it myself yet. “I thought we were becoming friends," I say instead. "Now, I’m not so sure.”
She laughs. “Based on what I’ve heard about him, that is not a man who has female friends.”
“What would be the point of starting anything? I’m still planning on leaving this place once I’ve sorted everything with the house. Sam told me it should take four weeks to get everything done, but with the holidays coming up, he tacked on another week. So that brings us to mid-January.”
“Why not just have some fun with Rowan in the meantime?”
