My surroundings dim as I focus on the small booklet. “What is this?”
“A new identity,” he says softly. “So you can start over fresh. If you want.”
I pick up the passport, my heart lodging in my throat. How did he know this was what I was after? Did he talk to Vita? I never told her exactly what favor I’d ask for, but maybe he guessed.
“You want me to leave?”
“Of course I don’t,” he says, his words raw and laced with pain. “But I’m giving you a choice. I never should have taken that from you in the first place, but I had to in order to keep you safe then. Now that we've resolved the situation with the Ferraros, I won’t hold you here against your will.”
“What about the Iron Raptors? Won’t they come for me if I leave?”
“I talked to Rafe. He got in contact with their president, and they’ve negotiated a deal. They’re no longer a threat.”
I blink through the sudden tears in my eyes. “Why the change of heart? You were so adamant before that I belonged here with you.”
“When I found you bleeding out, I knew I couldn’t force you to be here anymore. My mother was shot because of my stepdad, but I never blamed him for her death. My mom knew the life she committed to living and the consequences that came with it. She accepted them because she loved him. And you…” He trails off.
My hands begin to shake.I love you too. As much as someone can love a person when they despise themselves.
“You never made that commitment,” he whispers. “Not willingly. I forced you into it, and I kept telling myself it would all work out fine because I wanted you here with me. But seeing you fighting for your life made me realize I love you more than my own selfish desire to keep you with me. If what you want is a life far away from the darkness that comes with me, I won’t stand in your way.”
Inside me, something shatters. He’s letting me leave. I went to all these lengths to get my own way out, thinking he’d never have the capacity to do this.
And he’s proven me wrong.
Nero takes a step forward. “That’s what you've always wanted, right? A choice?”
It was. It should be. But the celebratory fireworks I expected to feel right about now are nowhere to be found. Instead, my chest vibrates with a dull ache.
“If you decide to go, I’ll help you get anywhere you want to go. And you'll have enough money that you'll never have to work again.” His voice breaks, and he turns away from me, his shoulders slumping.
I stare at his back. My hands itch to glide under his shirt, to pull him close and press my cheek against his warmth.
But I can’t do that.
I love him, but it’s not him I’m running from. I’m running from the person I’ve become living in his world.
So I say the words, knowing I can never take them back. “I'll leave tomorrow.”
CHAPTER 35
NERO
I pace outside Blake’s bedroom while the doctor’s in there checking to make sure she’s clear to travel. Deep down, I'm clinging to the slim hope he’ll say she should wait a few more days. Not because I plan to try and change her mind, but because I want to hold on to every last second I can get with her.
There’s a gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to be. Who knew doing the right thing could feel so unbearably wrong?
Gino called a few days ago with an update. The Bratva is in disarray with the pakhan dead. Some have already fled town, while the rest are scrambling to select their next leader. The Ferraros are taking advantage of the chaos to pick off everyone who might want the position. Soon, there won’t be any candidates left, and the Bratva will retreat.
Gino also told me to report for duty as capo today. I didn’t say a word in response. What was there to say? Blake nearly died getting me that title. If anyone deserves my gratitude, it’s her—not Gino Ferraro, who risked nothing for this so-called victory.
The doctor comes out of Blake’s room, his leather satchel in one hand. “All good. She’s doing great. I told her that since she’s flying private, she should make sure to move around the cabin when she can.”
I’m torn between wanting to hug him and wanting to slit his throat. Blake’s going to be fine. That’s what matters most. But the selfish bastard in me rages.
She’s really getting on a flight today.
“I’m sending a nurse with her too, just in case,” I say.
