“A very good one.” He flexes his hands on the wheel. “I know you look down on this life, Blake, but it saved me and my mom. And my stepdad taught me that the labels society assigns things—the good and the bad, the moral and the immoral—are made up. There are no absolutes in life. Only once you accept that can you find true freedom.”
I glance down at my hands, refusing to accept that’s true. There are some things in this life that are undeniably bad. And being a criminal, the kind that kills people, is immoral. It’s wrong.
But there’s no point in arguing with Nero about it. It’s clear we won’t agree. “Was Gino right about you wanting to get even with Rafaele?” I ask after a few silent minutes pass.
A grim expression unfurls over his face. “No. I would never betray the Messeros.”
“Even after what happened? It sounds like he kind of screwed you over.”
“It felt like that in the beginning, but I got over it eventually. I forgave Rafe. Sometimes, we’re put in impossible situations where there isn’t a good way to protect everyone important to us. In those situations we make choices. Choices that define who we are. Rafe made his choice that night. He put his wife above all, even me, his best friend. And you know what? I get it.”
My hands curl, my nails digging into my palms. Is he implying that he’d do the same for me? That he’d choose me?
He already has, hasn’t he? Only instead of putting me above his best friend, he put me abovehimself.
I swallow, my throat suddenly tight. “Don’t you want to at least think about Gino’s offer?”
“No.” His tone is resolute. “What he’s proposing is insane and dangerous.”
“The Bratva are the Russian equivalent of the mob?”
“Yes.”
“And the pakhan?”
“The pakhan is what they call their leader. The current pakhan of the Boston Bratva branch is a ruthless, paranoid old man who’s set on taking over New York, no matter the cost to his people. I doubt he’d even take the bait, but even if he did, the risk isn’t worth it. Not even close.”
“I’m guessing you’ve done far riskier things in the past,” I prod.
He shrugs as he pulls into the underground parking lot of the building. “Back when I only had myself to worry about, sure. But with you here, everything is different.”
Anguish wraps around my lungs. He’s sacrificing his only chance at a better life here for me. The Ferraros won’t give him another opportunity, that much is clear. The only reason they spared him was for this.
If he holds his ground and keeps refusing to play along… What if they decide they should just kill him after all?
I can’t let that happen.
If Nero and I pull this off, he wouldn’t have to do Alessio’s dirty work anymore. He’d have his own crew, his own people.
And I could ask Vita for something in exchange as well. If the Ferraros are as powerful as Nero says they are, she could get me the fake documents I need.
It would be my way out of here.
Seriously?Don’t tell me you’re considering working for a family of criminals,the voice of my conscience pipes in.
Unease slithers through me. That’s what it would be. No matter how civil the Ferraros seem, they’re criminals, and all criminals are cut from the same cloth.
But I won’t ever find a way to help Nero and myself if I play by the book.
“You miss it, don’t you?” I ask quietly. “Your old life. The way it was before.”
“It doesn’t matter,” his deep voice rumbles as he parks the car. “The only thing I want is to keep you safe. That’s the truth, even if you don’t believe me.”
I do believe him.
But I’ll never be safe with him.
Because there’s a real chance I might fall for this man again if I stay here longer. And I can’t repeat all of my mother’s mistakes.
