“It’s just… she’s a safe bet, you know? I don’t love her or anything, but…”
“What?” Her voice cracked, and I looked at her.
“I know that I’d be OK if I lost her,” I whispered.
Rosalie frowned at me. “What does that mean?”
I swallowed. “It means I wouldn’t care if she died. That she’s expendable. I could marry her, and she could die, and I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t…feel. She could take the place of someone I love. I could have a family. I could lose her and just not care.”
Rosalie winced. “That’s messed up, Enzo.”
I nodded. “I think what’s fucked most about it is that I’m not just thinking about doing it. Marrying her. Starting a family. It’s that I think I really could. Does that make me a monster?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Would it make me a monster if I used her to shield you? To protect you? I’d fuck you still, Rosalie. I know I would. I’d make babies with you. I’d love you in secret and use her to die for you. Am I still a monster for thinking it?”
“Yes,” she replied, her voice shaking. “Does it make me a monster to tell you that I’d meet you in all the dark places you asked of me? That I’d still give myself to you even though you had a ring on your finger?”
I swallowed hard. “You’re my kind of monster.”
“Then I guess you’re my kind too.”
“Maybe neither of us is good,” I said, drinking her in, wanting to kiss her to see where it took us again.
She gave me a sad smile. “Maybe not, but at least we’re aware of it.”
I chuckled softly. Sadly. “Yeah. I guess we are.”
I reached for her, and she came easily, her naked body on display as the sheet fell away. Greedily, I hauled her onto my lap and kissed her forehead fiercely.
“I meant what I said. I won’t tell what we did tonight. I know you’re married. It makes me feel like shit because it’s Fox and Cole, but fuck, Sunshine. We agreed. I’m a monster.”
She traced her fingers along my lips, and I closed my eyes, relishing her touch.
“Monsters together.” She kissed me, and I didn’t hesitate to kiss her back, and that was it.
I had her beneath me one more time, rutting deep inside her body as she took my cock, my name on her lips.
Yeah, we were definitely fucking monsters.
37
ROSALIE
“Rosebud, try this,” Cole called out the morning after I’d had sex with Enzo. He’d taken me twice more after his assistant left. Finally, we’d untangled from one another and finished making dinner before he fucked me on the kitchen counter.
Then, we’d eaten in silence, and he’d gone to bed, looking more troubled than I’d ever seen him.
And now it was the next day, and Cole was trying to get me to eat something he’d brought home. He’d done a shorter shift at the hospital, and Enzo had gone to the office. I hadn’t seen him since last night.
“Cole, no.” I made to move away from him, but he captured my face with his hand.
“Baby, please. Try it. You’ll like it, or I’ll eat my own ass.”
I chuckled and parted my lips, letting him put the candy in my mouth. I winced at how sour it was.
“It’s good, right?” he asked, looking hopeful.
