“Are you coming up to bed?” she asks, sounding unsure.
I rub the back of my neck with a hand. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me in there tonight,” I tell her honestly.
“I do. I don’t want to be alone,” she says, holding a handout to me. I don’t hesitate and practically run up the stairs to her.
My actions cause a small giggle from her. Fuck, I’ve missed that sound.
I grab the hand she’s still holding out, and she turns and leads me to her room.
She closes the door when we are inside, and I take that as my sign to strip down to my boxers. I hope it won’t bother her, but I hate sleeping in clothes. Sleeping in my boxers is still even a bit much for me; I prefer to sleep naked.
When we climb into bed on our sides, she grabs my arm and pulls it around her making me chuckle.
I kiss her on the head and whisper in her ear. “Good night, Button. I love you.”
She doesn’t say it back, but I don’t expect her to.
It only takes seconds for her to fall asleep. I take that as a sign she couldn’t sleep without me before, which is why she came and got me.
I follow her into sleep only a few minutes later. I’m feeling peaceful like I always do when I’m holding her in my arms.
Levi “Ice”
I look around Viking and Ana’s house and am amazed at how much the brothers and I completed since Viking has been gone.
Once they found out where he was, they all came to lend a hand since we are all hoping that Ana comes back with him.
I’ve been staying in a bed in the living room since the rooms need to be repainted and furnished with the shit Viking bought that arrived today. We have been busy; even Dani has been here helping to decorate the space. She lets out an impressed whistle when she firsts sees the place.
“He really wanted to renovate the whole place,” she says as she looks around.
I nod my head. “Yeah, it won’t make her forgive him, but it’s a start in the right direction.”
“Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?” Dani asks.
“Yeah, I’ll head out in the morning. I just want to make sure we’ve got as much done as possible before I head out,” I tell her.
“That’s quite a lot you have been doing. I don’t think I’ve seen you at the clubhouse since Ana left,” she states.
I look away hoping that I’m not fucking blushing. I don’t need her to get the wrong idea. “It’s what club does for each other,” I mumble.
“Maybe, but not as much as you have been doing,” she says slowly.
I let out a sigh. “Just say what you want to say.”
“Are you doing this because you want them?” she asks and, when I look at her, she tries to have an innocent expression on her face.
“I’m doing this because I can see how much they both love each other, but they both seemed to have lost their way. If this helps them get it back, then I feel lucky enough to be a part of that,” I start, but when she raises and eyebrow and crosses her arms, I can’t help but blurt out. “Sure, they are both smoking hot and I’d be lucky if they looked at me that way; but I know that would never happen so, if this is all I get to be a part of, I’m going to have to be okay with that.”
“Good. I’m glad you finally admitted it. Though I wouldn’t say it would never happen because you never know,” she says with a shrug.
I have to believe that this is all I can have. Okay, so I have spent the last few days fantasizing what it would be like living here with them. Being with them. That’s as far as I can take it. I can’t let myself hope for more.
I know I’m signing myself up for more heartbreak by watching a couple happy without me. Sure, the situation is different this time; but I still can’t help but wonder when it’s going to be me? When do I get to find my happy and be able to keep it? I’ll never admit this out loud, but does it ever get fucking lonely sometimes.
I would love it if there was someone, or a couple of people, that I could come home to at the end of the day. I would love to have someone to hold at night and have someone who was excited to just to see me.
When do I get to have that?
