“I woke up in the middle of the night. There was no reason for me to. It was a perfect summer night, the last day before Noelle’s senior year of high school, but I had woken up and just had this dreadful feeling. I went to check on her, and her bed was perfectly made with a note resting on her pillow. I still have it as a reminder to myself that my baby ran away because of us. I tried to track her down. We paid for private detectives and tried to involve the law. We had even begun to check the hospitals for Jane Does and the newspapers for anyone deceased.”
“Why?” Sonnet asked, her tone heavy and cracked. “Do you know why she ran away? What was the breaking point?”
“It was me.” Adalynn handed Sonnet the very letter Noelle wrote to her all those decades ago. “She couldn’t bear seeing the disappointment in her father’s expression, but above all else,she couldn’t continue living knowing she was putting me in pain. She was a lost child in the maze of her own depression and anxiety, and she felt no hope in getting out of it, so she left so as not to make me feel responsible for it.”
Sonnet took a moment to read the letter, and when she was done, tear stains were left on the old paper. “She sounds so sad. She was so sad when she was with me, too.”
“That can’t be true. For her, you were the sun she needed to guide her.”
“How do you know?”
“I never thought I was going to see my daughter again. I thought she was dead or cities away. I had no idea she had been here this entire time until she showed up at our door three years ago.” Adalynn cleared her throat as she attempted to keep her emotions at bay. It was the first time she began to talk about Noelle that her persona crumbled. “Your mother wanted a clean slate. She told me that five years before coming to us, she had slowly begun to change things for the better. She worked as an office assistant, had her own apartment, and was ready to clean herself up so she could come and find you. But when she went to her doctor, she was diagnosed with AIDs. She had contracted the disease years ago, and without knowing or being properly treated, the disease went to the point of no return. She came to us to ride out the rest of her time before she inevitably passed.”
“But why didn’t she come find me? Why didn’t she spend her time with me?”
“She was ashamed. She didn’t want you to have any worse memories than what she had already given to you.”
“That’s not fair. I deserved a goodbye. I deserved to say goodbye to her.” Sonnet shook her head and bunched her fists tightly in her lap. “If she told you I existed, why didn’t you try to find me to tell me about my mother?”
“All Noelle had told me was that she had given up a baby for adoption, but she gave me no name, no information. I had no idea of the true nature of it all. It wasn’t until Zayden had reached out that I learned the truth. You really do look so much like your mother.”
Adalynn smiled sadly at Sonnet before waving her hand towards a nearby worker, who brought over a box. Tears rolled down Sonnet’s cheeks as she peered into it. There had to be more than a hundred letters inside it, each lovingly addressed to her by her mother.
“Thank you,” Sonnet choked. “For giving these to me.”
“Think of it as an olive branch. An unlimited invitation to come visit whenever you’d like. I could teach you to ride if you wanted.”
Sonnet nodded her head. “I would like that.”
Zayden helped Sonnet carry the box into the car and waited respectfully as Sonnet and her grandmother exchanged a positive goodbye. When they began driving back home, Zayden felt confident that Sonnet would grow a close bond with Adalynn, and that now that her mother was nearby, she’d be able to grow through her grief.
No matter what, Zayden and the rest of his pack would always be there for Sonnet and support whatever decision she made.
Chapter 55
Since therapy, I’ve tried very hard to be rational and respectful. But fuck that and fuck Juliana.
Sonnet had been in her room all evening reading all her mother’s letters, and Kai was just grateful that he couldn’t hear her sobbing and that her scent in the house wasn’t burning. However, he missed her. Missed her voice, her smile, her touch. He didn’t want to be seen as needy, but for her, he was.
He fought Felix to bring her dinner and won. Felix and the others have had enough time alone with their mate. It was his turn.
Sonnet was relaxing on her bed when he came in, and her smile almost made him stop in his tracks. He couldn’t stop looking at her as she ate and talked. He couldn’t believe he wasted so much of his life without being able to look at her.
He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Kai,” she laughed. “Have you even been listening to me?”
“Yes. I can multitask.”
“Mhm. Sure, you can.”
“You’ve been talking about writing a book dedicated to your mother. I think it’s a fantastic idea, baby. You know we’d all support you, too. See?” He sat up and kissed her cheek. “I can listen to you and admire your beauty at the same time. Don’t underestimate me.”
“Noted.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being here for me. You’ve all been so amazing during this process. I don’t know what I would have done without all of you.”
