“You don’t think it’ll be okay?” Jude pushed off the wall and stood towered in front of Zayden, a pout and innocent gaze written on his face. “Sonnet is opening up more to all of us, and even Kai has been hanging around. Why wouldn’t it work out? We still have time.”
Zayden couldn’t bring himself to look at him. He was locked in on his scandals and the cracks on the sidewalk. “A lot has happened, Jude. A lot more can still go wrong.”
“What have you been saying in your sessions to be so pessimistic?”
“Geez!” Zayden shoved past him with his shoulder and stood firmly at the edge of the sidewalk. “We’re not supposed to talk about what we say privately to Dr. Burdough.”
“Why not? She never said we couldn’t.”
“I’m saying.”
Jude huffed. “This is stupid.Thisis why we have problems. No one wants to say anything!”
“And what would you say?” Zayden snapped. “If you felt no shame or guilt? Oh, that’s right. You never feel anythingother than happiness. It practically shines out of your ass like a rainbow.”
“You think I’m the only one in this pack who isn’t guilty or depressed or fuckingpissed!”
Zayden flinched and shifted around uncomfortably. Jude hadn’t cussed since his promise to Sonnet. And he never shouted unless it was to alert them of the ice cream truck.
“Keep your voice down,” Zayden growled, but it was more of a plea than a demand. He looked up and down the streets as if some hidden paparazzi were about to jump out, capture the moment, and smear it all over the internet.
“No! I won’t keep my voice down! Let the whole freaking world hear me!”
“Jude—”
“I’m so sick of all of you,” he seethed. Tears pricked in the corner of Jude’s brown eyes, and his bottom lip trembled. For someone so tall and large, he suddenly looked small. “I’m so sick and tired of breaking my back with the weight of everyone’sselfishness. Everyone conveniently forgets it was my suggestion that we try for a year and then go our separate ways, and do you know why I suggested it? Because it was the only thing I could do to hold myself together instead of abandoning you all right when everything happened. That’s right! I had enough hate for all of you that I never wanted to see any of you again, but…but…I still loved you all, too.”
Oh, good grief.
Zayden rolled his eyes, but pulled Jude into him, hugging him tightly, as if his embrace would verbalize his commitment to not let go.
Jude squeezed him back and hid his teary-eyed face into Zayden’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Zayden growled firmly, using his alpha dominance. “You’re right. I have been selfish. I should havepaid attention. I’m sorry I didn’t realize how deep my fuckup with Juliana hurt everyone.”
Jude pulled back quickly; his eyebrows knitted together despite keeping a tight grip on Zayden’s arms. “This isn’t about Juliana, Zayden. This is aboutyou. You’re so lost in your own guilt you can’t even see we’re all hurt becauseyoushut us out and abandoned us, not because of whatever happened with Juliana.”
“But Kai—”
“Probably would say the same thing if he ever grew a pair and got the courage to say it. Butnooo.” Jude rolled his eyes and waved his arms around dramatically. “Look, Zayden. We need you as our alpha. And I hope tomorrow during our group session, Dr. Burdough starts calling everyone out on their bullsh—Um,crap. We can really move on.”
Moving on would be nice. Moving on together as a pack with Sonnet would be even better.
Zayden squeezed Jude’s shoulders before slugging his arm around him and pulling him close just as Felix drove into the parking lot. “We need you too, Jude. To keep us positive, but also to help call us out.”
“That’s what I’m here for!”
They both laughed and loaded into the car. But the laughter and lightheartedness stopped the moment their little omega was holding a very wiggly puppy in her arms.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
Chapter 32
I want to be the optimistic one, but sometimes trying to be happy is exhausting.
Goose. That’s the name Sonnet decided to give her new puppy, and Jude thought it was perfect. It was just what they needed. After all, no pack would adopt a puppy together unless they were all going to stay as a family.
Zayden was holding Goose in his arms, lookingveryunimpressed.
