“I keep a very close eye and ear on all my clients,” she hummed. “I want to know when you felt the height of that anger, Jude, towards the situation and your pack mates.”
“Jude?Angry?”Kai scoffed.
Even Felix was surprised. He had, at times, been very emotional and showed signs of depression towards the end of their relationship with Juliana and the fall of their pack, but he always seemed to pick himself up. Did he struggle like Felix did to express how much he truly felt hatred?
“Yes, angry. I tried really hard to make everything work and fix everything without being in anyone's way. I tried to like Juliana, make her feel at home,andmake sure she wasn’t stepping on our toes and crossing boundaries. I really tried. Butthen Kai had to throw that stupid party, and it all fell apart, and no one gave a crap about me or how I felt or what I had done.”
Felix’s eyebrows narrowed. When he thought about it, Jude was at the back burner of it all. He smiled so much that when shit hit the fan, he was forgotten about.
Fuck.Even Felix forgot to check in on him or to validate what he did for the pack during and after their failed attempt to find a mate.
No wonder Jude was so surprised Felix wanted to make this work with the pack and Sonnet. Until that moment, Felix hadn’t bothered to say or do anything encouraging to show that he didn’t want the pack to break up.
“That party and the night Juliana left seemed to be what you all consider the thorn of your problems. I want to dive into that party specifically and understand each of your perspectives. Kai. Why did you decide to throw such an elaborate party?”
Kai smirked proudly, leaning back and crossed his ankles. “I knew it would piss Juliana enough that she’d want to leave, and she did.”
“You threw the party to make a statement for Juliana, or for your pack?”
He choked.“What?”
“It just seems to me that the statement of your partymayhave been an attempt to make Juliana flee, but in a greater attempt to get the attention of your packmates. To push your perspective, is there any possibility that your bold attempt wasn’t just to make the lady flee, but to finally be heard by your pack, and most of all Zayden?”
Kai looked appalled, and it would be an amusing expression if the situation weren’t so serious. He opened and closed his mouth numerous times before shrinking down onto the sofa, defeated.
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Maybe.”
Dr. Burdough nodded, satisfied. “Felix. What was your perspective on the party? What were your thoughts and feelings?”
Now Felix is sick. That party was one of those annoying memories he tried to keep buried and had failed. “I was annoyed, which had been building up the last few days. I had just returned from a trip to see my grandparents, and all I wanted to do was go to bed. When I got home and saw the shit-show of a party, I was ticked.”
Not just ticked,livid.Felix wasn’t great at expressing himself, but anger came the quickest, especially that night.
The pack had a rule that parties had to be approved by everyone, and it was always a meticulous task. Even Maddox had to approve the guest list to preserve their reputation, one that Kai practically destroyed that night by inviting loud, obnoxious party animals who drank themselves into fools and took no issue with openly doing drugs, another broken rule in their house, since the pack took an oath not to consume anything of the sort.
It was no wonder that Juliana called them drug addicts and alcoholics. From that party alone, it was easy to spread rumors like wildfire.
As obnoxious as Juliana was, she also held herself to high standards, the one thing Felix did appreciate about her character. That party alone and the destruction it had on their house and reputation was enough to make her pack up her bags and flee in an embarrassed rage.
Kai may have had valid reasons to feel betrayed by Zayden and even by the rest of them, but that night, Felix felt betrayed, too. Especially when he found some of his deceased mother’s jewelry stolen by some of the party members. It took himmonths and the help of investigators to track down every missing piece, which was now all in a safe at the bank.
Thinking about it all made him tired all over again and ashamed.
If he had only recognized and acknowledged Kai’s struggle, he would never have acted out.
“I’m the one who started the fight,” Felix said, the weight of his words heavy in his mouth. “I called the police to kick everyone out, getting a few in trouble even, and when Kai tried fleeing to his bedroom, I’m the one who sought him out and initiated the fight.”
“And what did you say to him?”
Felix sighed. “Things I shouldn’t have. Things I regret.” He finally looked at Kai, who was doing everything to avoid him. “I didn’t understand why you threw that party. I was angry and should have waited before speaking. Everything I called you, everything I said, I think I felt more that way about myself than I did you. Because at the end of the day, I didn’t want Juliana in our house either, but I was too loyal and too prideful to say or do anything.”
Kai finally looked at him, and for the first time, Felix saw actual hope flash in his eyes. Hope and forgiveness, and gratefulness.
All along, Felix thought of him as a childish adult acting out, but for someone who overthought so much, he never stopped to thinkwhyKai was acting out.
Felix proved to be more selfish than he thought, and even though he was too much of a coward to say it out loud, he made himself a promise that he would come out of himself and be a part of this pack and a part of his brothers’ lives. This wasn’t just about getting to a place where he could properly love Sonnet. No. This was about strengthening his love for his brothers, too.
Chapter 34
