They’re all looking at me to accept my role as lead alpha, a role I was born to be. I can feel their eyes watching and waiting. I can hear their thoughts asking me, ‘when will you be ready?’ I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.
The last week of vacation had been difficult to swallow. Each day felt like their last, so Zayden ensured their time together was memorable and pleasant. Because back in the real world, it might not be.
There was still so much that needed to be fixed, including himself. So much to think about and plan and prepare.
Felix was good at those things. Planning, budgeting, and organizing. Zayden didn’t realize how good Felix was until he tried doing it on his own. Three days. That’s all they had left until they’d return home.Three.Days.
We need to ask for help.
Tell me about it.
But Zayden didn’t want to ask for help. He wanted to be Lead Alpha and for fuck’s sakelead. Only leading hadn’t felt this complicated before they had an omega. All he could think about was making sure Sonnet was safe and comfortable. They needed to go nest shopping, figure out their schedules with hers, and meet each other's parents.
They needed to do a lot.
His alpha made a low sound that was between a frustrated growl and an impatient groan.
Stop and look.
Where?
Outside.
Zayden sighed and turned his head. Beyond the open patio doors, his pack enjoyed a nice day on the water. Felix was swatting Jude away from the picnic basket as he laid it all out, and Kai looked like he was competing against Sonnet to build a sandcastle before Goose came tumbling over.
They’re happy. They’re happy, Zayden.
But I still have to—
They’re happy. I want to be happy, too.
Do we deserve it?
Zayden pinched the bridge of his nose, this time to keep himself from crying.
Have I done enough repenting to deserve them all?
His alpha didn’t answer for a few seconds too long. It wasn’t until Zayden continued to look at his pack that he realized the silence was on purpose. He wanted him to keep looking, and what he saw made him ache. What he saw was his pack, each at a different time, looking back at the house for a few seconds, waiting for something.
No. Waiting and looking for you.
For me?
It was true. When Zayden tilted back in his chair to peer out the door better, he caught Kai’s gaze, who looked at him hungrily. Hungrily for connection, and suddenly Zayden realized he was starving.
He quickly left his isolation and found himself barefoot in the sand, helping Sonnet with her castle.
“The favoritism is unreal,” Kai growled before scolding Goose as he trampled through a second time. “Whose idea was it to get a puppy?”
Sonnet scrunched her nose. “Hey, you’re the one who helped me convince everyone to keep him!”
Kai rolled his eyes before throwing himself backwards. “I give up.”
“WE WIN!” Sonnet kissed Zayden’s cheek and leaned into him. He felt his entire body relax next to hers. “I’ve missed you. Where have you been all afternoon?”
His heart pounded. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I should have come out earlier.”
“Why didn’t you?”
