Imade him feel defeated. I’m doing everything I can to protect him, and it’s left him thinking I’m ashamed of who he is.
Can I even blame him for taking matters into his own hands? I’ve been pushing him—all of my matches—as far away as I can, telling them as little as possible so they can barely do anything. Shouldering most of the burden on my own.
But by cutting him out, I’ve left him with no choices other than to feel like an unworthy match or to throw himself into even more danger.
What is he supposed to believe I think of him when I’ve avoided spending time with him whenever I can, when I burst into tears just making out with him? This Salvatore has an even more overblown ego than the one I left, but he’s got plenty of brains to go with it.
Deep down, he’s probably wondering just how horrified I am by this match. How much the affection I’ve shown him is nothing more than a sense of duty and the inherent compulsion of the bond.
Fuck.
As I stare back at him, I find myself reaching inside myself the way Daphne suggested. Searching for the traces of the Salvatore I knew before that will have woven themselves into my being over our three years together.
The glint that so often came into those gorgeous eyes. The swagger in every movement he made. The tang of leatherfrom his favorite jacket and the mossy, musky scent of his skin beneath. The buoyant chuckle that could roll through an entire room.
He’s there, in fragments of the energies that tingle through my being. And all at once, I can hear what he’d say as clearly as if he was standing next to us.
“Look at him, a shíorghrá. He’s as much me as I am, and he needsyou. I think you need him too. He’s the only way I can still be there for you. So what are you waiting for? Show him how much you belong to him.”
Tears prick at the backs of my eyes, but not so forcefully I can’t blink them back. They’re for the man I lost, yes—but also for the man in front of me.
For all the ways my actions have hurt him while I was trying to do the opposite. For how badly I’ve screwed up this budding relationship in my efforts to do right by my matches.
I sparked our bond, and this is what we have now. I’ve seen enough of this Salvatore to know he’s every bit as bold and fierce and devoted as the one I already adored. Maybe even more, considering how quick he’s been to dedicate himself to me.
I’m never going to not want him, and he’s never going to not want me. Resisting the bond… it’s tearing away at me and making him think the worst.
Maybe the best way to keep these men safe isn’t shutting them out but holding them close.
My heart squeezes at the thought of what I’m about to do, but I push through all my instinctive hesitation and scoot over to straddle Salvatore’s lap.
As my legs settle against his thighs, his hands move to grip my waist automatically. Steadying me, just like he always does. Like he always did.
“That’s right, mia amata. You deserve this. Take what’s yours.”
As the imagined voice of his counterpart tingles through my thoughts, this Salvatore studies me. He’s waiting for me to show my full intentions, but a renewed gleam has lit in his eyes.
I set my hands on his neck, my thumbs stroking over either side of his jaw. The heat of his thighs between mine courses over my legs and up through my chest, setting off a pulse of desire at my core.
And that’s okay. That’s how I’m supposed to feel about my match.
Devas save me, wouldn’t the other Salvatore have beenoffendedif there was any version of him I wasn’t attracted to?
I tease my thumbs along Salvatore’s jaw again, holding his gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you think— This isn’t about you. I know who you are, Tore. I’m happy you’re my match. It’s been killing me not being able to show you how much. And it kills me to think of anything bad happening to you. That’s all it is. You want to protect me, and I want to protect you, just the way mates should.”
Salvatore’s voice comes out soft but a little rough. “I think you’re the one who needs most of the protecting right now, Elodie. No one’s tried to murder me lately.”
“That is a very good point. One I haven’t been taking into account enough.” The mix of hope and desire in his eyes draws me in. I dip my head until our noses almost touch. “Thank you for looking out for me. Thank you for taking those chances so we can unravel this mystery. I’m not going to ask you to stop again. Let’s just… Let’s figure out the safest option out of all the dangerous ones before you keep going?”
That low chuckle I love rumbles out of him, painting my skin with his heated breath. “I guess that’s fair.”
He doesn’t move, doesn’t pull me closer or slide his hands from their careful position just above my hips. Doesn’t rock his own hips toward me the way I’m now aching for.
I made him think I wasn’t longing for this. That therewas something wrong with how much he craved me. But the only problem was just how right it felt.
It doesn’t seem like a problem now. Every particle in my body is thrumming with our closeness as if aligning my very cells with his.
I’d swear I can even feel the other Salvatore’s hand on my shoulder, nudging me forward, grinning encouragingly.
