Now, she keeps her attention on me even though her posture stays tense.
I accused her once of being sickened by the sight of me, and maybe I wasn’t far off. Sick with guilt and grief.
Her mouth manages to form a small smile. “I guess we should talk too?”
Cole stiffens as if he’s about to protest, but I speak first. “Yes. I think that would be good.” I glance at the door closer at hand. “Why don’t we go in my room? It’ll give you a little more space. I can understand if you need that.”
The smile turns wry. “The storage closet is a little tight.”
The moment I’ve motioned her past me into the room, my stomach twists with the fear that I’ve miscalculated. Elodie steps into the still-small-but-not-suffocating space, and her eyes immediately mist over.
She blinks rapidly as she takes in my narrow bed with its rumpled covers—why the fuck didn’t I make it for once?—the tiny desk in the corner with my ancient laptop, the shoulder-high bookcase, the dented closet door.
She runs her fingertips over the books stacked haphazardly on the shelves. If I had any remaining doubts, they vanish seeing the one she eases out.
She holds the picture book in both hands. Her expression as she gazes down at it erases any embarrassment I’d have otherwise felt at thediscovery.
“Your mom gave this to you in this reality too,” she says quietly.
I sit down on the edge of the bed, because that’s the only place to sit other than my desk chair and I assume she’d be more comfortable there. “Yeah. I told you that? I mean, the other me.”
She nods and sets the book back on the shelf. Noticing me sitting, she hesitates and then swings the chair around from the desk so she can put herself back at my level.
When she looks at me again, there’s so much sadness behind her eyes that it makes my throat ache.
Her hands squeeze together on her lap. “I really am so sorry. I wasn’t trying to be mean about keeping you at a distance; I was just so scared that I mightreallyhurt you again… It seemed safer if I could push you as far away as possible.”
The ache expands alongside a pang of sympathy. “Elodie… You don’t need to apologize. I have no idea what it was like to see me after everything that happened, but it must have been so hard. I was a little confused, but I wasn’t that bothered. I had a feeling there was something more going on.”
She lifts one eyebrow. “Your brother doesn’t see it that way.”
I raise both of mine right back at her. “I hope in the world you came from, I didn’t follow his lead in every single thing either.”
The smile that crosses her face is bright enough to set off an answering glow through my whole body.
Fuck, how amazing would it have been to have had this girl in my life from the start?
“No, you didn’t.” Her gaze slides back to the closet. Her next words come out even quieter than before, cautious of the figures waiting just outside the room. “I’m sorry for prodding you in Divination class. Mostly I was frustratedwith him, but I know… You’re planning on joining the void defense forces, aren’t you? And I assume you haven’t told him?”
She knows me so well, understands me so well, when I’ve barely scraped the surface of who she is.
I tip my head. “For the same reasons as the other me, I’d bet. I don’t imagine any version of Cole would approve of that plan.”
“No, probably not in a million parallel universes.”
When she looks at me again, her expression has softened. “Have you been… okay? It seems like the two of you are getting along all right, besides that subject and me. But I don’t know how I’d have survived those years at Luminary after you transferred over without being able to turn to you. You never had me. I haven’t seen you hanging out with anyone else at the academy.”
An echo of the loneliness that’s so often gripped me while I walk through Luminary’s halls ripples up through my chest.
I manage a casual shrug. “I’ve kept in touch with a couple of people from Beacon. One friend I get together with every couple of weeks. At Luminary, I mostly just keep a low profile. It… It isn’t wonderful, but I’ve gotten by.”
She exhales sharply. “I hope Other Elodie didn’t hassle you.”
“Nope. She didn’t pay attention to me at all.” I keep my tone light. “I always assumed I was below her notice.”
The Elodie in front of me winces. “It’s been driving me up the wall playing along with her friends here. Some of the crap they say… It won’t stay like this. We’ll figure out why someone’s so keen on murdering me and deal with that, and then we can be open about the match. You’ll have me and the other guys.”
I shoot a doubtful glance toward the door. “I don’t know how much Byron and Salvatore will want to buddy up.”
