Unfortunately, that transferring of responsibilities doesn’t apply to my most hostile match.
As I reach the door to Cole’s office, I square my shoulders and lift my chin.
He asked for the truth. I gave him more than he could have bargained for.
If he’s upset about it now, well, I just have to face that. It’s not as if I can un-match with him.
I give the door a good, firm knock. I can’t read anything from the “Come in” that filters through.
When I ease inside, Cole is standing by his desk. The curtains are fully open, the bright sunlight only emphasizing the pallor of his chiseled features. The evergreen scent that lingers all through the space prickles into my nose, heightening my nerves.
“Miss Devine.” He nods in acknowledgment and swipes back the errant strands of chestnut hair that fall across his forehead with the movement. Picks up a pen from his desk, rotates it between his fingers, and sets it back down. “Elodie.”
The merciless Professor Raith is obviously flustered. Next thing you know, it’ll be raining frogs.
“You wanted to see me?” I venture.
He exhales roughly and glances at the door behind me as if to confirm it’s closed. As he beckons me closer, his mouth pulls into a grimace. “I probably should have spoken to you about this sooner, but I didn’t want to risk reaching out to you at home.”
He pauses and holds my gaze, looking so uncomfortable my own skin tightens. “I’m sorry. From the moment you arrived here, I’ve been coming down on you even harder than I would have with your counterpart, it turns out with no good reason at all. That can only have made the turmoil of the situation worse for you. It’s certainly not how any match deserves to be treated.”
A lump fills my throat, but I’m so keyed up in anticipation of his hostility that a tart remark pops from my mouth before I can catch it. “No onedeserves to be treated like that.”
Cole winces. “Maybe not. Although I’m a little less concerned about fairness when it comes to your classmates who’ve had most of their lives skewed in the opposite direction. You…” His forehead furrows, and his voice drops lower. “Was I harsh with you in your original life? You said I didn’t approve of your friendship with Asher.”
The thought pains him obviously enough that I don’t feel the need to rub it in. It wasn’t this Cole who glowered when he saw the two of us hanging out together and forbade his brother from letting me into their home.
My imagined other Cole speaks up after an awkward silence.“I should have apologized to you more. Better. He’s right. That’s what you deserved.”
I’m not going to throw accusations at the man I’ve inadvertently abandoned, especially when he was dealing with so much more at the time of our matching.
I make a noncommittal gesture with my hand. “Before our match sparked… In class, you were about as hard on me as everyone else. No special treatment, no noticeable sympathy for my situation, but you didn’t single me out for criticism either. As far as Asher goes, I think you worried I was going to drag his reputation down even farther. Which wasn’t an unreasonable worry. Two pariahs hanging out together only amplifies their outsider-ness.” My mouth quirks with a wry half-smile. “Your disapproval bothered me less than it did Asher. He’s more of an idealist than I am.”
Cole’s bark of laughter appears to startle him. A trace of a smile touches his own lips. “He’s definitely that. I suppose that’s why I tend to assume the worst of people’s intentions toward him—because he’s more likely to assume the best.”
The lump in my throat expands into an ache. “You were trying to protect him. With the way I was acting, you couldn’t have realized I was doing the same thing. I appreciate the apology, and you were definitely an ass, but I do get where you were coming from.”
Cole blinks, possibly torn between gratitude that I’m not being more vindictive and annoyance about the “ass” comment. He must settle on the former. “I hope we can go forward on better terms, then. Obviously I can’t completely alter my behavior in class while we’re keeping our bondquiet?—”
“I don’t expect you to start fawning over me,” I say dryly. “The other version of you didn’t act that differently in class even when everyone did know.” Possiblybecauseeveryone knew. “I’ll settle for fifty percent less glaring and no further cheating accusations.”
“I think that should be achievable,” Cole mutters. He rakes his hand through his hair and lets his gaze linger on me again. The heat that flickers in his gaze sets off a corresponding current low in my belly. “I should also apologize for losing control in here the other day. I— Nothing like that will happen again until all immediate threats are dealt with and we can work out how to remove you from my professional jurisdiction.”
I’m relaxed enough now to grin. “I didn’t mean to end up with your hand up my skirt, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. You don’t have to feel guilty aboutthat.”
Here comes the glower. “It was still completely inappropriate, especially considering our respective positions.”
“I don’t know; I think it made a lot of sense when I was bent over your lap.” At Cole’s horrified yet heated reaction to my deliberate misunderstanding of his meaning, I have to laugh. “Seriously, I don’t think you were really to blame. There was something about the unsparked bond… I’m guessing because I’d already sparked with other versions of the four of you… Let’s just say it’s become increasingly clear that fate is a horny bitch.”
Cole’s guffaw comes out in a sputter. “Well, now that we’re fully aware of the situation, we can control ourselves accordingly.”
He hesitates, but the intensity in his gaze shifts to a different sort of hunger. “We… were fully bonded in your old reality. You know what my glim is.”
Ah. I’m surprised he didn’t ask during my confession onSaturday, but I guess he was too thrown by the bigger picture.
Of course he’s been dying to know what shape his innate magic will take. He’s waited years longer than most lucents do.
I don’t think I can describe it any way that’ll do his power justice—and not sound as insane as what I’ve already told him.
