She nodded. “Truly.”
“I am sorry, Merry.”
She arched a brow.
“For everything.” He wasn’t quite brave enough to relinquish his position on having children, but he was close. “I hate what I have done to us.”
“What shall we do about it?”
“I dinna ken,” he said softly.
Disappointment fell across her like a shadow. She reached for the baby. “Here. Let me take her. I’ll put her in her cradle. She needs to sleep a little while before it’s time for her feeding.”
Reluctantly, he let her take the wee one, drawing close as she placed her in the cradle and tucked the blankets around her. “She’s naught but a sliver of a thing, is she?”
“By Felicity’s counting, she came a little earlier than expected.” With her focus locked on the baby, she shifted with a heavy sigh. “But she is healthy and doing well. As is Felicity.”
“I am glad.”
“I am too.” She squared her shoulders, stepped away from the cradle, and led him out into the hallway. “Will you be returning to London today?”
His heart fell. Once again, he had saddened her. “I had thought to stay a few days. To visit.”
“I told you I would return,” she said with a sharpness that felt likea slap. “I always keep my word.”
“I missed ye,” he repeated. “And those words dinna do justice to how I truly feel.”
She studied him for so long that he wanted to squirm, then she slowly shook her head. “Whatever shall we do about this impasse, Duncan?” she sadly whispered. “Will it always be this way between us?”
“I dinna like the way that we are, lass,” he said just as softly. Then he forced the words out before he lost the courage to say them. “I will try to change.”
She narrowed her eyes as if she either didn’t believe him or hadn’t quite heard what he’d said, but she didn’t comment. Instead, she merely turned back toward the nursery door. “I need to sit with the baby to ensure I hear her when she awakens. Felicity was up with her all night. I don’t wish to disturb her until time for Abby to eat.” She twitched a disheartened shrug. “I can help with everything except feeding her, and they have yet to find a suitable wet nurse.”
Duncan nodded. She had as much as dismissed him, and how could he blame her? “I have a room at the inn. I can stay as long as necessary.”
And he would be staying. As long as it took to convince her that he intended to tear down this horrid wall between them.
Chapter Seventeen
Duncan had returnedto the inn to fetch his things after Wakefield and Felicity had both been horrified that he had not intended to stay with them at Wakefield Manor. Even though Merry hadn’t seemed entirely pleased with the idea, she, too, had agreed that the village would latch on to the unusual arrangement with his staying at the inn and swirl it into all manner of unpleasant rumors.
Now, he was on his way back, allowing Spartan to make the return trip at a leisurely pace. This situation could either be good or disastrous, because Wakefield Manor was much smaller in scale compared to the estates owned by the area’s nobles. It had once been the home of Drake’s father, who had not been a noble but a member of the gentry. With one of the bedchambers turned into a nursery, and one being prepared for the soon-to-arrive nurse and wet nurse, the only remaining place for Duncan to stay was in the same guest bedchamber as Merry.
He didn’t relish the thought of sleeping on the floor, but if she insisted, he would. Maybe. At least for a time. He’d about had his fill of this unpleasantness of his own making. Risks of the future be damned—his marriage was about to change for the better. He just prayed he hadn’t left it too late.
The same lad who had taken Spartan around to the stables the first time took him again, and Yateston, the butler, had a footman take Duncan’s things up to the room he would soon share with his lovelywife. Since Merry was once again in the nursery, Duncan joined her, easing into the room and remaining by the door when she glared at him from the rocker and mouthed,Be quiet. The wee bairn had been on another tirade, howling like an angry wraith rising from the grave. The angel finally slept now, but fitfully so.
Once Merry had successfully placed the child in the cradle, she motioned for him to follow her into the hallway just outside the door. “I assume you fetched your things?”
“Aye, Wakefield’s footman took them to yer room.” He waited for her ultimatum. Her flashing eyes and tense stance gave away her hunger for battle.
“There are only chairs in there. No settees. Not even a cushioned window seat.” She folded her arms and jutted her chin higher. “The one small rug is beside the bed. And it is thin. Hardly suitable for sleeping.”
“I dinna intend to sleep on the rug.”
“So, you will sleep in one of the chairs?”
“No.”
