So I exhale, a long, slow breath, and I tell her.
“After we got out… you don’t remember much?” I ask.
She shakes her head slowly. “I remember Lou walking me to the car right away.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “You were in shock.”
I lean back, rubbing a hand down my face. “About a minute later everyone started screaming.”
Her brows pull together. “Why?”
“Ivan didn’t come out.”
I watch Scotch move to the corner, settling down by the window. “Then the tar… asked me.”
She looks up immediately. “For what?”
“To pick two.”
Her eyes widen, the color draining from her face. “Like that?”
“Said it was hungry. Said if I was serious I had to prove it.”
Sisk’s hand flies to her mouth.
“That’s when I saw it,” I continue. “Dean’s necklace.”
“What?”
“I recognized it when I hit him earlier,” I say quietly, the memory as clear as if it were yesterday. “I knew then it had been him helping Ivan.”
My muscles tighten, the old anger coiling in my gut. “So I grabbed him.”
Sisk just stares at me, her eyes wide with disbelief.
“And Bear?” she asks softly.
“Bear tried to play hero. Tried to pull him out.”
My hands curl into fists on my knees. “All I had to do was shove him the rest of the way.”
I stare at the wall. “It happened so fast. One second I’m holding onto Dean, the next Bear’s in my face, and everyone’s screaming like I’m the fucking monster. They were scared of me, scared of what I might do next.”
I shake my head. “All I could think about was you. What would happen to you if I didn’t listen. If it decided you were a better choice.”
Sisk’s breathing changes.
My voice roughens, the words getting harder to push out. “I started to freak out. The reality of what I did hit me, and I almostlost it.” I laugh under my breath. “Somehow O was there. He saw the whole fucking thing.”
I rub my hand over my mouth, the memory of O’s strong grip on my arm as real as if it were happening now. “He helped me up and took me home. He told me about his son and how this thing takes and takes.” The words feel heavier now. “He helped me through those first days, then weeks, then months. I couldn’t face anyone. Not my parents. Nor you.”
Sisk reaches out, her hand covering my fist. Her touch lets me keep going.
“The requests kept coming and with each one… I changed.”
I glance down at my hands, at the faint, dark lines that are always there now. “Physically. Mentally.” I let out another long exhale. “And for a while…” I shake my head again, the admission tasting like blood in my mouth. “I almost liked it.”
Her brows knit together. “What?”
