I laugh. “Of course, I knew, Ollie. Who else is he going to ask?” I nudge Matt’s shoulder back.
We silently watch Oliver handle a large dough with perfection. Matt turns to me. “I heard about Meena,” he says, his voice low.
I blow out a breath. “Can we not talk about that?”
Matt hesitates. “You know it’s not on you, right?”
If only he knew. This is completely my fault. I didn’t just let the Bureau down. I'm disappointing the only man I’ve ever loved every second the copycat killer is still out there. “I know what you’re doing. You don’t need to, okay?”
Matt shakes his head. “I do. Because someone has to get it through that thick head of yours that the entire world is not your responsibility. You can’t controleverything. We just didn’t have enough evidence. And you’re very valuable to theBureau, they can’t let you waste months on this wild goose chase.”
My gaze finds Mickey and Alex again. “Why Alex?” I ask Matt, my voice back to normal.
Oliver answers instead, while Matt shakes his head in disappointment. “We can’t name him Alexis Rose, so now he’s Alex Rose Bennett Hale.”
“Whoa, royals have shorter names than that,” I say.
“It suits him. He’s the prince of this home,” Oliver says sappily.
I smile, biting back every mean comment that tries to escape. Elliot would have been proud of some of them. He would have even smiled at a few, his pink lips going up as he frowned, confused about his own reaction.
“Babe, I think he is going to cry.” Oliver’s voice brings my focus back to Matt’s apartment.
I give both of them a finger each.
“I’m honestly surprised you lasted this long,” Matt says.
My eyebrows go up.
“They’ve been together for a month,” Oliver points out.
“An entire month,” Matt emphasizes.
My jaw drops. “What doesthatmean? We’re great for each other. Elliot is amazing, behind all that bristle. Youknowthat. And I know I don’t deserve him, but he loves me anyway.”
Matt smiles. “Yeah?”
My eyes narrow. “What are you doing?”
“It doesn’t matter. Tell me more about how much Elliot loves you.” Matt’s voice sounds amused, not mocking. But I feel like I’m being mocked. Or manipulated, I can’t figure out yet.
“He does. At least, I’m sure he does,” I say defensively.
Oliver turns all the flames off at once. “That man loves you more than his work and my lasagna.” Oliver does make thebestlasagna.
I place my elbows on the table. “But he said all those things, and now I don’t know…” Fuck, I wish I could talk about this to someone. It hurts that I can’t even share this big secret with my brother. Not enough to tell him, though. Never that.
“So what? We say all kinds of things when we’re angry. We don’t always mean them,” Matt says sagely.
I give him a side eye. It’s difficult to take his love advice seriously when I had to literally shove him in Oliver’s general direction for him to finally do something about his crush on his former neighbor.
Oliver brings a large pan over to the table. Matt follows him back to the kitchen to help him. When they return with two other pans and plates, Oliver says, “And even when you mean it, you don’t just give up. You talk about it. You apologize. You figure out a way.”
Matt nods as he takes his seat back. “Exactly. Listen to us, Nick. We’re going to be an old married couple soon.”
Oliver gives him the sappiest smile, which makes me miss Elliot even more. Not because he’ll ever smile at me like that, except when he’s blissed out after sex and sometimes when he’s still too drowsy after waking up in the morning. No, he’ll make the meanest comment about Matt and Oliver, and I’d have to hide my laugh.
I sigh loudly.
