“You did so well.” Tyler says soothingly while he unclips my straps one at a time, stroking every piece of skin they touched.
Lastly, he takes off my blindfold and squirts something in his hands then starts massaging my scalp right under my skull where my neck starts.
I groan in ecstasy, this is almost as good as the sex. Then he kneads my shoulders and back, working out the knots and taking his time all the way down to my backside.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but when he stops, I feel lighter and more relaxed.
He sweeps my hair from my face and grazes his lips on my forehead.
“Don’t move an inch baby, let me clean you up.” Tyler mutters under his breath and lifts me into his arms.
He carries me into the adjoining bathroom, opens the walk-inshower, and sets me on the bench as he starts the water, getting it warm.
He grabs a washcloth, dampens it, and lathers the soap into it before bringing it to my skin. Without asking, he runs it over me, delicately and thoroughly, especially between my legs, until he’s content.
Then he gathers me into him, guiding me under the waterfall shower to rinse it all away.
I stand beneath the water for a while, staring at him as he cleans himself now.
Afterward, he bundles me in a thick, fluffy white towel before steering me to the vanity. I take a seat on the small stool, and he picks up a brush, lovingly working through my damp hair.
My eyes begin to droop. Then he kisses me on my temple and intuitively I fit myself against him, desiring the feel of his arms around me.
Picking me up again, he brings me to the bed, neither of us having the energy for the stairs. He pulls back the covers, settles me in, then climbs in behind me, holding me close, having no intention of letting me go.
Kissing my shoulder, he whispers, “You’re it for me, Mrs. Chase.”
I fall asleep right away, and luckily, it’s dreamless.
CHAPTER FOUR
I wake a few hours ahead of our gym session, creep out of the bedroom and head upstairs with one goal in mind, the Nespresso machine.
It’s still dark outside, right before dawn. Tranquil. The exact opposite of what used to be inside these walls.
As the water heats, I brace my hands on the counter and watch the black liquid spiral into my cup. Steam curls upward in thin ribbons.
The past two years slam into me, uninvited.
The first few months after we settled down here were the toughest.
Every day felt like a battle she was fighting alone. Nightmares dragged her from sleep. Anxiety followed her everywhere. She jumped at faces that seemed familiar and watched every car that slowed outside the house like it might be carrying the people who stole so much from her.
I hated all of it.
But what tore me apart was the silence.
The way she’d retreat behind walls I couldn’t reach. The way she’d lock every thought, every fear, every ounce of pain inside herself and carry it alone.
Cassidy had always been full of fire. Stubborn as hell, loud, quick with a sarcastic remark. She lit up every room she walked into without noticing.
The way she would retreat into herself, shutting down fully, it felt like she was afraid that if she let herself feel too much, she would implode.
She was living behind glass.
I’d see her staring out the window for hours, her eyes glued to something only she could see. Sometimes I would ask her what she was thinking and she would always forget, or that’s what she told me.
She wasn't pushing me away because she didn't love me, she was drowning.
