I knock my head against the wood and consider it. It wouldn’t be fair.
‘No, I can’t. You’re right – it’s super-funny content,’ I sigh.
He leans on my body, using my weight to support his, before bringing his lips close to my ear and whispering.
‘Just imagine the views.’
I pray to God he doesn’t feel the shiver that runs through me. I fake a cough and use it as an excuse to shuffle away ever so slightly. He rests his hand on the grass and props himself up, none the wiser.
‘What about you, then?’ I ask, desperate for a distraction.
‘Huh?’ He looks confused.
‘Your dates. We’re finding your wife.’
He sits up straighter. ‘Calm down, Am. No one said anything about awife,’ he says, panicked.
I turn my neck to take him in and I can’t help but smile sadistically at this new, flustered side of him.
‘Are you sweating?’ I ask.
‘No!’ he scoffs.
‘You’re too close to me to lie,’ I say, teasing him. ‘I can see all your little sweat beads.’
He rolls his eyes and huffs. ‘Really? Well can you see this?’ He sticks his middle finger up at me. I burst out laughing.
‘So you don’t justhatecommitment, you’re scared of it,’ I say. ‘Why are you subjecting yourself to all of this, then? It can’t just be because of your friends and a wedding date.’
‘What is this, therapy?’ he asks. He keeps his tone light, but won’t dare look my way, his gaze fixed on the green expanse around us.
‘If I intend to help you findthe one, I need to understand you,’ I say.
‘Well, there’s got to be a better way than digging into my psyche.’
He follows this up with a half-hearted attempt at a laugh, but it falls as flat as his now incredibly rigid spine. Through all the jokes and the banter, who knew it would be this that would close Noah all the way up?
‘Okay, let me dig into something else then... like your dating profile.’
His neck cranes towards me, his previously locked features unravelling to reveal confusion.
‘Bring out your phone and load one of your dating apps,’ I say as bossily as I can.
He shakes his head at my candour, but follows nonetheless much to my surprise. He flicks through a few apps on his phone, eventually loading one up and cautiously brandishing the screen towards me.
‘I’ve got nothing to hide.’ He shrugs.
I reach over to take it, but he quickly snatches it out of my reach.
‘But you don’t get it for free. I want yours in return.’ He arches an eyebrow.
I feel a breath catch beneath my ribcage. ‘No.’
His brow creases. ‘Why?’
‘Because this wasmything, not yours!’ I pout.
I think to my dormant profile. To the pictures and prompts I haven’t touched since I made it just after Tom and I broke up. I don’t even know if it’s still on there – for all I know, the app could have unloaded itself to save on storage. I tap it out of curiosity, shocked as it fills the screen. Noah catches the light and holds out his free hand.
