I meet her gaze. There’s a warning there, and something else. A flicker of worry, perhaps?
“I won’t, you're the love of my life,” I say, and I mean it, setting the croissant down. I shove her face into my boobs, and we both hysterically laugh.
Mimi rolls her eyes. “You say that now. Wait until you guys become inseparable and you ghost us for a month from fucking too much.”
“We agreed we’d go slow, but honestly, it’s hard.” And I shake Mimi, grabbing her shoulders so she can share my frustration.
“Okay, settle down now, kitty cat. Don’t go purring on my leg, I could get used to it. You know what I did to my last cat…” Mimi imitates claws at me and purrs.
“Yes, you’re dark,” I say, petting her arm.
“Wait, what did you do?” Anne’s curiosity shines through walking to the table from wherever she was hiding since I got here. She’s always been a little sweet devil on all our shoulders. Anne is the most mysterious one of us, with dark hair on her light brown skin, her skinny long waist and red lipstick.
“She taxidermied her cat,” I blurt out with a straight face.
“Come again?” Anne's face falls.
“She fluffed her cat… to preserve it…when it died.” I answer for Mimi.
“Like Sara said, I’m a smidge dark, but it’s only out of love.” Mimi smiles with her perfect teeth, luscious Angelina Jolie lips,and blue eyes. The girl could melt any guy and apparently fluff pets.
“RIP Zizou…” I say, and Mimi pulls up a picture of the black cat, dark as night. We all coo.
“We wouldn’t want to hang out with you if you didn’t darken us a little, Mimi,” Artemis says.
A lull settles in. I watch the barista wipe down the bamboo tables as a couple argues quietly at the next table, their voices a soft undercurrent of threat. The town is the same as always…what lies in the audacious party hours slowly wakes.
When I’m about to leave, Artemis hugs me so tight it almost hurts. “See you tonight?” she asks.
“Definitely,” I say, half meaning it, because I’d rather stay with Joe, but I promised them I’d come out and play.
Once back home, the sky leaks gold onto the ceiling of my room this evening.I waitpatiently for my mom to kick me out like she said she would, but shejust ignoresme andleavesfor work at the art gallery. I’d rather feel invisible any day over her remembering her favorite child died every time she looks at me.
I miss my dad. We talk occasionally, but his absence looms over my heart. Sometimes I hide in my mom's closet, where she still holds onto a few of his button-down shirts, and I carefully inhale his scent. It's hard to understand that he left us after my brother died, but my mother made it really hard to stay, so I’ve crafted another little box in my head: Peopledo unexpected things when faced with agonizing realities.
I lie back on my bed, phone clutched to my chest. My hair is damp from a shower, smelling of jasmine and vanilla, the cheap shampoo Artemis swore by. I bunch the sheets under my knees, and I open the window wide enough to let in the neighborhood’s sounds while I decide on one of my dresses for tonight. Before I head out, a text comes.
Joe: Can you come over, baby?
I stare at the screen.
Shit.
My thumbs hover. I told him I’d come by, but…
Yes, is what I want to say. I want to run to him, let the night do its worst, and hold nothing back and skip the nightclub altogether. I want to bury myself in his arms and never come up for air. But then I remember I need to hang out with my girlfriends and Artemis’s voice rings back to memory, “Let him wonder.”
Me: I’m going out with the girls. Maybe After?
His answer comes immediately.
Joe: Where are you going?
I like his wondering about where I’m going.
Me: VIP room
The typing bubbles appear, vanish, and appear again.
