She closes the distance, her touch on my shoulder sending me into a rage I can only contain for so long. I hold on to the kitchenisland, ready to break it, and her eyes find mine — worried for Joe or me, who knows…
I can’t stand her dumb empathy. I’m not weak. I want to be both the storm that wrecks her and the shelter she runs to. I want her screaming my name when pain and salvation become the same thing.
“Liam… what’s going o—”
I break. In one motion, I turn around, grab her, and lift her onto the island’s edge as my lips crash over hers, bruising and desperate. She doesn’t even have time to comprehend what is coming for her because I can’t stop myself even if I tried, and the moment my mouth finds hers, she breaks with me. She kisses me in a deep embrace, punishing me and herself all at once.
Grief meets grief, and hunger morphs into desperation. I need her, and I hate myself for it.
Her legs spread open before me as she locks her arms around my neck, and I savagely slide her shirt over her breasts, revealing them in all their glorious fullness. My mouth waters before it even finds her skin, her nipples hard and desperate for me, her breasts barely fitting my palm. My teeth graze the soft swell before I drag her nipple between my lips and bite it. She gasps and arches her back to meet my touch, her fingers digging into my hair as she moans.
It feels like liberation, and I want more. I need more. I sharply pull her by her hair, and that elicits a delicious, painful hiss from her lips that makes me harder. Bringing her closer and kissing her with a hunger I can’t control, I want to crawl inside her and consume her very broken essence, fill her with my darkness and see if she’ll survive me. Her hands inch under my shirt as her tongue plays with mine, fire scorching my veins, and I groan, pushing my erection deep against her.
“Pl—ease.” She moans. I am on the verge of unzipping my pants and pushing inside her when the fire in me hits with guilt. Joe. Rage. She moans.It all hits me.
No. No. No. I rip myself back, hands slamming against the stone with a crack that echoes,
“Fuck!”
The sound rips out of me, guttural, broken, and it makes her jump against me. She stares at me, chest heaving, disoriented by the loss of contact, and a pulse of guilt runs through me.
For a second I thought she’d beg me not to stop, and I might have ruined us both right there. Instead, she shoves me. Hard.
“You need to leave me alone, Liam. Whatever this is, I don’t want it.” Her voice shakes as she pulls her shirt down, her eyes cutting sharp, and it guts me worse than any blade.
I want to yank her against me, hold her so tightly that her demons and mine remember to crawl where they belong, back to hell.
The front door knocks and opens. Damien steps in, tall, broad shoulders filling the frame, and his eyes cut to Sara, then to me, narrowing as if he’s already decided she is a liability.
“That’s one way to keep her quiet,” he says flatly.
For once, I don’t argue. I watch her jump down from the island and walk away. When I see her stare Damien down without fear, I can't help but smile. She does not know what kind of danger she is courting. Her wet handprints slowly disappear from the stone, and something twists in my chest with each fading mark.
I want those hands around me instead, but in a more pressing matter, I need to make sure Damien doesn’t kill her. Though I’ll put him in the ground before he touches what belongs to me.
Eighteen
Sara
Idon’t look back. If I look back, I’ll fall. Every nerve in my body compels me to turn around, run back inside, and demand he finish what he started. He clearly loathes himself for ever kissing me, and I hate myself too for feeling the way I did when his lips crashed into mine.
You need to leave me alone, Liam.
I meant it.I think.
I’ve never felt so utterly powerless against my own desires.I’m totally fine. Absolutely peachy.
Shoving through my gate, I almost trip as it clangs shut behind me, and it's only then that I let the sob claw up my throat. When I push through my front door, the house is empty. Mom is at work. I lean against the wall, chest rising too fast, and wonder how much longer I can keep breaking like this.
I jump into a cold shower, trying to freeze my thoughts, but nothing can scrub off the feel of Liam’s hands or stop the memory of his mouth setting my lips on fire. Nothing can silence his voice looping through my skull, rasped and ruined as if he hates himself for wanting me. That stupid hunger I’ll never satisfy and it all seems obvious that I’m deliberately hurting myself by entering a wolf’s den.
Everyone who matters has shown me I’m disposable, forgettable. Isn’t love the endgame? Isn’t it what ignites the empty corners buried in our soul? My heart isn’t strong enough to give it to anyone, anyway...
It took me a few days to get a new phone and to notice my charming neighbor isn’t home, and more days to understand he left without a word. At first, I told myself I was relieved. I can breathe again without Liam’s shadow looming over me. But relief turned into emptiness as the weeks blurred, and that emptiness turned into hunger. Without Liam, the silence presses on me heavier than his hands ever did.
Some nights I drown myself at Maggy’s lounge with Artemis’s laughter, Anne’s mischievous schemes, and Mimi’s endless chatter. Hours spent at low tables under amber lights,Mediterranean breeze through open windows, and red velvet booth cushions cradling us to lean close and trade gossip. Even when neighbors, acquaintances, and school friends drift in and out of our circle, the warmth remained.
These narrow streets know my footsteps, these cafés have memorized my order, and I know every merchant’s face, which I always politely acknowledge.
