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They’re your parents. They wouldn’t do that. They’d accept you. Like Lucas’s mother accepted him?
He didn’t have a response for that.
In her seat in front of Balthazar, Patrice started shivering; apparently the presence of a ghost always created a chill in the air. She glanced over her shoulder once, obviously curious about the cause of the draft. I moved toward the door, unable to take much more of this, but I looked long and hard at Mom before I left the room. Every time I saw her now felt like it might be the last time.
I wanted to appear to her and to Dad so badly. I imagined appearing before them, wearing the white camisole and cloud — patterned pajama pants I’d died in, and slipping on the bracelet so that I could become solid. Ifl did that, there would be nothing I’d want more in the world than to run into their arms and feel them hug me again.
And then I imagined them turning away. If they did that — I would never get over it.
The other students had started talking about the upcoming scrnool trip into the nearby town of Riverton days ago, but I hadn’t paid much attention, because I doubted any of my friends would take part. The trips were a recent innovation — a treat for the human students. Vampires tended to skip it entirely, because getting to Riverton involved crossing running water, which for them always induced chills, nausea, and sometimes a kind of shock. Also, anything the humans enjoyed was automatically extremely uncool to the vampires. The only human I spent any time with anymore was Vic, who would probably stick around school to hang with Ranulf. 81 However, my plans were about to change.
After Mom’s class, as students crowded into the hallways, I sought Lucas. I felt like he needed me, and after seeing my mother’s anguish, I needed him, too. But as I carne along his right side, Mrs. Bethany stepped smoothly to his left. “Mr. Ross.”
“Mrs. Bethany,” he said, casting one quick glance in my direction; he’d sensed that I was there and obviously felt protective. Although we both knew that I was invisible, something about that woman made it seem as though she could detect me anyway.
But she seemed to be thinking about something else entirely. “You have not yet put your name on the list of students joining our first off campus trip. I seem to recall that you were fond of such outings.”
“Back when I could cross a river without wanting to throw up, yeah.”
“Such discomfort is momentary,” Mrs. Bethany said. “It can be overcome.” Lucas shrugged. “I don’t see the point.”
“I will share a secret with you, Mr. Ross. The secret of how I learned to bear being dead.”
What would ever make Mrs. Bethany reveal something so personal? Lucas’s face looked just as shocked as I felt. “Urn, okay.” Then he shook off his surprise. “Actually, that’s something I’d like to hear.”
“Right now, I suspect, you are attempting to forget what you loved about being alive.” Mrs. Bethany’s skirts rustled as she made her way through the crowd, people parting to leave a wide berth around her and Lucas. “To distance yourself from those joys, believing yourself separated from them forever. But that is a mistake.”
Lucas walked more slowly, obviously trying to take that in. “But it’s not like I can . .. I don’t know, go get a good hamburger or go swimming in the ocean — ”
“No. Some things are closed to us. But surely you can enjoy the entertainments Riverton has to offer.”
We’d gone to the classic movie house on our flrst date. He’d bought me my brooch in the vintage clothing shop. It would be fun to visit some of those places again, together. So what if I had to hide? Call it another take on a “blind” date.
Maybe Lucas picked up on what I was feeling, because he slowly nodded. “That’s true. I could still go.”
Mrs. Bethany smiled in satisfaction. “Remember your life,” she said. “Don’t let go of it, any more than you must.” Then she straightened, entirely formal once again. “I shall put your name on the Riverton list.”
“Thanks.”
As we wandered out onto the grounds, I whispered, “I’m so glad you said yes.”
“That was kind of weird, wasn’t it?” He was clearly thinking about Mrs. Bethany. “Her opening up like that.”
It was kind of weird. More than weird. I knew I should be grateful to her — she appeared to be looking out for Lucas, in her own way — but she scared me too much for that. I didn’t want to talk about her any longer, or even think about her. Better to concentrate on better times ahead. “If it gets us back to the movies, then it’s okay by me.”
Lucas laughed, and I basked in the pleasure of being just another girl, looking forward to her weekend date.
I could’ve just ridden the bus into Riverton that weekend, hovering above Lucas, but we agreed that I might end up frosting the windows. Instead, he took the brooch with him so I could zoom to his side once he got there. Lucas took along a spare coat and a set of sweatpants in his backpack; that way, if we were the only Evernight students in the movie house, as usual, I could become solid and we could hang out like before. Maybe make out like before. I was definitely hoping for that one.
My impatience only grew in the half — hour after the bus left. It felt like eternity to wait, hanging out on the roof beside one of the gargoyles and letting the soft rain pass right through me. I knew there was no point in going to Lucas before he would for sure be in Riverton, but I was so anxious to get there. Especially to that movie house, the very first place we’d ever gone on a date. It was so precious to me that I could envision every bit of golden scrollwork on the walls, the red velv·et curtains, the posters — Wait. Was it possible that I’d loved it enough to bond with it? That it was one of the places I could instantly travel to, and “haunt,” after my death?
Worth a try, I decided. I faded out slightly, letting go of the material world around me at the school, and envisioned the movie theater in as much detail as my mind could hold. Everything about it, the woodwork, the frame of the theater itself, I willed to take shape around me.
And I was there.
Yes!I would ‘ve done a fist pump of victory if I’d been solid. The theater hadn’t changed in the slightest. There was the old — fashioned popcorn machine, a little brass cage with a red — and — white striped sign. And here was the swirly patterned carpet, so thick and soft I longed to have feet that I could sink into it. Tonight’s show, to judge by the spotlighted poster, would be “To Catch a Thief.” Cary Grant, total glamour, total romance. Could this be any better?
Well, yes, I realized. It looked like this was going to be a crowded show, so Lucas and I wouldn’t have much chance to be alone. The movie wouldn’t start for another half — hour, and already several people had taken their seats — though they kept looking restlessly toward the doorway where I had materialized, looking through me, for someone else — And then it hit me. I recognized some of them — including, down in the front row, Kate.
