“I never even thanked you for the house, by the way.” I meet his eyes. “Thank you. I really appreciate you doing that for me.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Firefly. I plan on taking care of things for you any chance you let me.”
“For the next four weeks?” I ask.
He lifts my hand and presses a kiss to the back. “Forever.”
Forever.
“If that’s okay with you,” he adds.
“Parker,” I breathe out.
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asks quietly.
“With what? Rhodes?”
“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Between you two.”
I guess that’s fair. He told me everything about Tori.
“There really isn’t much to tell.” I shrug a shoulder. “You know we dated briefly back in high school.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You two dated before us?”
“We literally went out like three times. Then I saw his true colors and ended it,” I assure him. “Anyway, I was struggling with you disappearing on me.”
He squeezes my hand.
“I was so heartbroken. I missed you, and it was like you forgot everything.” I press a palm to my chest. “Then I was at the big house for some kind of party. It might have been Ruthie’s birthday. We had the TV going because you were riding and that’s when the picture came up.”
I close my eyes, the memory still so real.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “It wasn’t real.”
“I was crushed. So angry. So when Ivy, Dakota, and Cooper wanted to go to the Mayson Jar that night, I went.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I wanted to get even,” I admit. “I didn’t really have a plan. Maybe drink enough that I could kiss someone else. That I could forget about you just for one moment. One second where it didn’t feel like my whole heart was being hammered into a thousand pieces.”
He releases my hand, his fingers coming up to brush along my jaw.
“So I went. Penelope secretly let us have some drinks since we weren’t twenty-one. I remember seeing Rhodes there, but I only remember having a short conversation with him at the bar. It was harmless.”
Not harmless, Laiken. Reckless.
“Next thing I know, I’m waking up next to him.” I blink away tears. “I was so ashamed.”
His hand cups my face. “Hey, don’t do that.”
“But I was. I left with that monster.” I let out a light sob. “I threw away my freaking dignity.”
The move is quick but smooth. Parker hauls me over to straddle his lap. “Hey.” He soothes. “I hate it when you cry. It kills me.” His forehead rests against mine. “I didn’t know if you two had been together or…”
“No. Not since we were kids.” I shake my head, my hands coming to land on his chest. “Ashamed isn’t the only thing I felt. Sometimes I feel guilty for regretting it. Because it gave me Trace. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me and I hate that…” I trail off.
“Hate what?” Parker asks, his fingers gliding down the side of my hoodie.
The one I could never bear to part with. It was the last physical thing I had to tie me to him.
“I hate that he isn’t yours,” I admit as a tear leaks from my eye.
