“I was beginning to think I needed to send a search party out to Wyoming to find you,” my father answers. “I’m glad you finally answered my call.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“So am I. It’s not like you to ignore me.”
“Yeah, sorry about that too.”
“How about instead of saying sorry, you tell me what’s going on. Now, you know the circle we run in here in Manhattan. I’ve heard things. Too many things. I need you to set the story straight.”
To be honest, if my father were mad right now or used a dominant tone, this would be easier to say, but since he’s just using his kind dad voice that says he genuinely wants me to talk to him, it chokes up every word I need to say.
I clear my throat.
Time to get this over with.
“Well, if you heard that I cheated on Kass last fall and got someone pregnant, the rumors are true. Her name is Sydney, she’s about nineteen weeks along, and we are still intending to graduate at the end of this semester.”
Of all the details I could share, that’s what I picked.
Maybe it’s because knowing that I’m still graduating on time means I’m sticking to our plan for me.
I hear a long sigh at the end. “And is she going to move with you when the school year is over?”
Cutting right to the point, isn’t he?
“I haven’t talked to her about that.”
And I don’t plan to. Not yet anyway. Moving is definitely a conversation for later.
“I see. Before I share my opinion on everything happening in your life, what do you think I’m going to say? You and I think a lot alike, so I have the feeling there isn’t anything I can say that you haven’t already thought to yourself.”
“You’re probably right. You’d tell me that the right thing to do would be to accept that I was wrong and apologize to Kass, which I did. Then you’d tell me that I need to make sure the mother of my child knows I will be here for her every step of the way, which I have, and then you’d tell me that I need to start making better choices and be the man you raised me to be. The people in my life deserve better, and I need to start showing them that I know that.”
“If you already know all this, why haven’t you answered my calls?”
“Because, Dad, we had a deal, and things are complicated now.”
“Yeah, they might be for a little while, but you know how to uncomplicate them.”
“Do I?”
It’s nice that he has this assured faith in me to fix this, but if I had known the right choices to begin with, I wouldn’t be where I am. And I hate that I feel guilty about what I’ve done, but I wouldn’t take it back. I also hate that that sentence makes no sense to me. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I just know that I want to be here for Sydney. I just want her to be in Manhattan, but if I remember anything about Sydney from last semester, it’s that she won’t jump at the chance to leave her family to follow me.
“You do, and I trust that you will find a way sooner rather than later.”
“Well, I’m glad someone believes in me.”
“Ah, well, I do. Not to mention the deal we made. You do remember that one, right?”
I nod even though he can’t see me.
“And to think I thought your dating Kass would ruin it. I was wrong.”
My initial instinct is to defend Kass, but my father has always believed that women are a distraction, so it’s not personal. It’s just who he is. It’s annoying, but I can’t change him and I’m not going to try.
“If anyone messed things up, it’s me, Dad—and I do remember our deal. Nothing changed. I might not be back in May, since that’s right before the baby is born, but by fall, I will be there.”
“Well, as long as you make it back before the fall social when I announce your position with the company. You might just be the COO- in-training, but it’s a very important role, Mark. I don’t want to hand this out to anyone.”
