“You. Married. Beck.”
I nod.
“In Vegas.”
I nod again.
“How in the hell did this happen?” she finally manages to get out with a lot less shock than her first two statements.
I spin and march to the chair behind her desk, plopping into it and covering my face with my hands. I don’t know where or how to begin. I keep playing that night over and over, and I just can’t figure out what part of me didn’t know when it was time to call it quits.
“It doesn’t matter how it happened. What matters is that I need it to end, and I can’t do it.”
“What do you mean, you can’t do it?”
“I mean that everyone knows me as someone who can’t commit. Even I know it.”
Neither of them argues.
“So, I won’t be the first one to bow out.”
“I’m sure Beck will. He probably just hasn’t asked because he wants to find a way to let you down easy.”
“Wrong. Beck told me that marriage is basically sacred to his family and that no one has ever been divorced. He refuses to be the first.”
I leave out the part where he also said two people make this pact for a reason, and he wants to find out that reason. Of all the boyfriends I’ve had in my life, I can’t believe the one who wasn’t even dating me to begin with is the one who wants to put in the most effort.
“So neither of you will file?”
“Correct.”
Greer thinks her next words over. “Are you not asking because you want to prove to you that you can commit or because you want to prove it to someone else? I think this situation should be excluded from proving anything to anyone, and if you want to file, you should.”
“Maybe a little of both.”
“So you’re both going to be stubborn about it?” Willa asks.
“Seems that way. However,” I say with a little raised pitch and a smile, “if he asks for a divorce, I can agree and then it’s over. I just can’t be the one to quit first.”
Willa tries not to smile.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Say it.”
“I just think that you know these guys. Being married to Beck might not be that bad. Maybe give him a chance.”
“And if it really sucks, just drive him insane till he can’t stand you anymore,” Greer adds. Willa groans.
“That,” I point at Greer. “That’s the kind of support I’m looking for. Let’s talk more about driving Beck bonkers till he asks for a divorce.”
“This is a bad idea,” Willa warns. “Beck is a nice guy, and he’s super cute. And—” She covers her face with her hands. “Oh gosh, I probably shouldn’t repeat this, but Zane once told me that he heard Beck and a girl he picked up while they were at a signing having sex once. Said the whole thing inspired an entire book.”
I do everything in my power to keep my face neutral. The last thing I need to know is how amazing Beck is in bed. What I need is to not think of him as anything other than the enemy.
“Now that you mention it,” Greer chimes in again, “when he writes enemies to lovers, Beck’s sex scenes are fire.”
