I did.
I lean back in my chair and glance at the clock. It’s time for me to call it a day and go upstairs, but just like the last three days, my heart sinks at this moment.
The one where I reach the top step and hear the happy chatter of my son and Greer from the kitchen. They’ll both laugh, and I’ll pause, soaking up her laugh before I step into their space and ruin the moment.
The worst part? You’d almost never know that something happened between us. Greer still continues to smile at me when she sees me, she talks to me as if we’re still longtime friends. I want both of those things from her, but she does it so well. Maybe too well. Still, sometimes when I catch her gaze on me longer than it should be, I see the pain in her eyes. Or the desire. Because hell, it never escaped me.
I want to be with Greer more than ever now that I can’t have her.
I take a breath, save my work, and head to the stairs.
I was supposed to have a new synopsis sent to my agent before the end of today, and it didn’t happen. I’d moved the deadline up last week when I was on the high of life.
Now, the spark is gone.
I’m not an idiot. I know why, but it still sucks.
It’s unusually quiet when I reach the top step, so I head straight for the kitchen.
There’s no sight of Greer or Grey. I backtrack toward the living room, and that’s where I spot them. Both asleep on the couch with the Hulu home screen on the TV. I take a quick look at my watch to see that it’s just after eight. Yeah, I guess I did work later than normal tonight, but it’s not crazy late.
Then again, Greer wakes up early to work and then comes here, and Grey has a full afternoon. After football camp she had a ninja warrior meeting for the end-of-the-year competition thing he has. Then he had a friend over, and I’m sure Greer played football with them.
I let out a half laugh.
Football, soccer, ninja warrior camp, playdates with kids, cooking and cleaning—after doing all those things for me, she still likes me for me and wants to be with me. She wants to wait for me, and I’m… scared as hell that it won’t work out.
Am I overthinking this? Can it really be that easy to fall in love again?
I cross my arms and lean against the wall, watching the two of them. To say seeing her with my kid right now doesn’t do something to me would be a lie. Greer is going to be in my life forever no matter what. Can I handle her being in it if we aren’t together?
Fuck.
Things are so complicated. This is stupid.
I should just tell her that I’m an idiot, and I want to be with her. That we should give this a chance.
She stirs and wakes up, spotting me instantly.
“Simon,” she says with a smile. “Why are you just standing there?”
“I was debating waking you up.”
She looks at the clock. “Well, you definitely should have. I don’t want to go to bed this early.” She sits up, doing her best to not disturb Grey. “This guy, however, I bet he and Bill ran five miles playing in the yard this afternoon.” She chuckles quietly. “Also, who starts calling their kid Bill at eleven?”
I laugh along with her.
“It throws me for a loop too. Every time Grey mentions him, I think he’s talking about someone’s dad.”
Greer gets up, then straightens her clothes. “I’ll get out of your hair.”
When she moves for the door, the urge to follow her and tell her everything that just went through my mind hits me, but I stop.
I don’t want to lose her, but committing before I’m ready, really ready, all because I’m afraid she won’t be there when that time comes is foolish. It could cause more harm than good.
“Greer,” I say, moving to get the door for her while she grabs a sweater and her purse.
“Yeah?” She turns; the scent of her body lotion surrounds me and my heart races. I miss having her this close.
