I grip myself; her smile in my mind and her sex scene playing on repeat.
I dropped to my knees, unzipping his pants, face-to-face with the erection in front of me.
It didn’t shock me that he wasn’t wearing underwear. It shocked me that he sprang free from the jeans and that my mouth drooled to have him on my tongue. I’d never wanted someone the way I wanted him.
I wanted to lick him and suck him until he fell to the floor, joining me on my knees.
I wanted to own him. Control him.
I gently took him in my hand, gripping with just enough pressure as I leaned forward and licked his tip.
“That’s right, baby. Open your mouth and suck.”
My hips jerk forward as I imagine Natalie doing this to me, the warmth of her mouth and her hand sliding up and down my shaft as the other one cupped my balls, squeezing softly.
“Fuck,” I say with a sharp breath, my hand moving faster and faster.
I’ve been guilty of putting things I like into my sex scenes—is that what she’s doing? Is this how she wants to be spoken to in the bedroom?
I could picture it. Her on top of me, twirling her hips and obeying my commands to move faster. Harder.
I feel that sensation zing into my spine and rest my other hand on the shower wall to brace myself.
The force of my orgasms lately is enough to do exactly what she’s written: bring me to my knees.
No one, and I mean no one, has done that to me before, and now just the thought of Natalie has me ready to break.
I come fast and hard, stroking every last drop out of me, and then clean myself up, regret settling into the pit of my stomach.
Thinking of Natalie this way isn’t right, but hell, I’ve never craved another person the way I’ve wanted her since that night on the couch.
Was I just fooling myself all these years? Was I in denial?
I dress quickly and brush my teeth.
One thing is for certain. Not once since that night has Natalie hinted that she felt something too.
And that feeling of not knowing what she’s thinking kills me inside.
How long after a breakup is it too soon to ask someone what they're thinking? If they think of you? If their body buzzes with electricity when you’re near them?
Even if I knew the answers, at what point do I risk losing the best person who has ever come into my life?
* * *
“Oh, yay! You brought Natalie with you.” Quinn rushes past me to hug her.
As soon as she pulls back, she looks between me and Natalie and then smirks. “You two look … I don't know. Is something different?”
Natalie laughs and looks up at me, shrugging. “Outside of us being roommates? Nope.”
“Not a thing,” I add as my sister basically stares right through me. I roll my eyes to hopefully throw her off. “Okay, well, where’s Grandma?”
“She’s next door with Mike. Calm down.”
“Why is she next door?”
My sister pins me with a look that says I need to stop asking questions. I clearly don’t get the hint. “Is she … are they …”
